Old Stories

Age is different than it used to be. When I was a kid and my grandfather was 65 years old, he was a little old man. Back then many companies had mandatory retirement at age 65. Today people in their 60’s are an active, vital part of the workforce. It was rare that you met someone who was in their 80's and today it is a common occurrence. More and more I meet people in their 90's and I love it. Especially when these "mature” members of our community are still active and vital and ALERT!

Over the years I have gathered a few stories about these “Super Seniors”. This blog is written to share a few of these stories with you.

Meet Uncle Sam and Uncle Larry

Uncle Sam and Uncle Larry were identical twins, always have been and as far as I know, always will be. Sam lived to be 94 years old. When he passed the doctor said that Harry will probably pass within 30 days and he did. This is not uncommon for identical twins. It is also great that they both lived so long.

The story about Uncle Sam

Uncle Sam was a happy man. Most days were started with a couple of Bloody Mary's followed by a visit to the putting green right outside his door. He was happy for several reasons. One is that his hearing was not so good. I often say that he was happy because he hadn't heard anything that anybody said for 20 years. (Maybe we could learn from that!) Everyone knew that he had a hearing aid because we could all hear the ringing noise that it made. That is, everyone could hear it, but Uncle Sam.

After my great, wonderful and beautiful Aunt Elaine, Sam's wife of many years, passed away he got a much younger girlfriend who was only in her 70's.

The story is that one morning Sam's grandson's wife called to check on him and the conversation went like this.

" Grandpa Sam, it's Jenny"

" Who Is it?"

" it's Jenny. Steve's wife, Jenny.”

" I can’t hear you and don't know who this is, but I can't talk right now. I have just taken a Viagra and my girlfriends coming over." CLICK

There goes a happy 94-year-old man.

The story about Uncle Larry

One day I was out with my family and we ran into Uncle Larry at a deli close to where he lived. We had just a short conversation and he said one of the greatest things I have ever heard.

"Uncle Larry, how are you feeling?”

"The closer I get to 100, the worse I feel."

If that is not the good news and the bad news all rolled into one, then I don't know what is. 

My friend's aunt

My best friend's aunt passed away recently at the age of 91. Her mother had passed 14 years earlier at the age of 100. 

The story is that when the aunt was only 77 years old and her mother was 100 years old, she was visiting and talking to her mother and at one point her mother interrupted and said this:

"What are you complaining about? You have got your whole life ahead of you!”

That is something that most 77-year-olds don't hear from their mothers.

The Old Testament and my 93 year old grandmother.

The Old Testament tells us that we are to live to be 120 years old. It is common among Jewish people that on birthdays our birthday wish is "you should live to be 120".

My grandmother lived to be 93 years old and her mind was sharp and quick up to the very end…. except for one thing. She could not remember the punchline to this one story……

Molly Picon, a well-known actress within the Yiddish theater (she also played Yente, the Matchmaker in Fiddler On The Roof) would always greet people the same way on their birthday by saying “you should live to be 121.”

Someone asked “Molly, most people say that you should live to be 120. Why do you say 121?”

She replied saying “So you shouldn't die suddenly.”

May we all lead long and healthy lives. May we all live to be 121!

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30,000 Hits and No Bruises!

Today is the day. Today my hit counter says that my blog has been visited 30,000 times.  Actually, the last time that I looked it was 30,154. When I started this, I never dreamed that so many people would read and comment about it as well. My views, my thoughts, my opinions all seem to have resonated or touched many people who read my blog . Wow!

It is quite a pat on the back, or at least a confirmation that my views are valid. It tells me that what I have to say means something and not just to me but to you as well and that is why I write. I have always felt as though I have been blessed with a good attitude and perspective about life. Your visits to my blog tell me that I am right and encourage me to keep going. I have not always been consistent in my writing. Earlier this year I went almost 3 months without any new entries. Now I am back on track, motivated by your visits, support and comments.

I know that there are other blogs out there that get 30,000 visits a month, maybe a week or more. That's not me. My blog is not a business. It is an outlet for me when I have something to say. Truthfully I have a lot to say and just don't always make the time or discipline to sit down and write it. That may be a good thing for all of us. 

I do have a new favorite blog and it is doing quite well and rightfully so. It is called "Phoebes Stupid Cancer" and is the daily news about my friend's daughter's journey with cancer. It details her treatment and incredible perspective and spirit. It also tells us about the amazing people she is surrounded by and what a difference they are making to her. She has been writing for 30 days now and has already been viewed more than 4,000 times. I feel privileged to be included in her journey and humbled by the attention that she is getting and deserves.

It is the year's end and the beginning of the gratitude season. It is time to take stock of the many blessings and all the good fortune that we have had during this past year. It is time to make plans for the new year. 

My goal, my resolution is to give you all many good reasons to hit me, or at least visit my blog.

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What are you doing on Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I suppose that the food has a lot to do with it. I also love seeing so many of my family and friends that I could never see often enough. We also do a lot of reminiscing on Thanksgiving, or at least I do and have every intention of doing the same thing at this year's Thanksgiving.

A day to give thanks. Really? Really? Just one day? To me, giving thanks is something to be done daily, if not several times a day.  My good friend, let's call him Jim, has been in a program for many years. While in the program he had a sponsor and they spoke to each other almost daily. Every conversation started the same way. " What are you grateful for today, Jim?"  WOW!  That is powerful stuff. Imagine if we all took the time to think about what we are grateful for, or thankful for each and every day. Do you think it would make a difference in our world? I do.

At the risk of being redundant and repeating myself and being redundant, as I have said many times before, gratitude is the key to happiness. Gratitude is the same thing as being thankful. Being thankful is what we are called to do today. This has nothing to do with religion or faith. It has entirely to do with how we choose to live our lives and see the world.

I recently saw a video of a man speaking about "The Happiness Advantage". In it the speaker discusses how so many people believe that they will be happy " when…". His argument, and it is a good one too, is that people who are happy are more likely to be successful than those who postpone their happiness until something happens. (The video is long and he does not start speaking until 33 min. into it. I promise you it is worth waiting for.)  I say why wait? If gratitude leads to happiness, then Thanksgiving seems to be as good of a time as any to start being thankful. 

I am asking everyone to do one thing today. After the greetings and the hugs, maybe even before dinner and drinking, take a minute. Think about what and who you are thankful for. If you are gathered around the table, tell everyone what you are thankful for and ask them to do the same. Give this Thanksgiving its full meaning and purpose. Be thankful, and then be happy that you have so much to be thankful for.

For me and my family  Thanksgiving is a very special holiday that I have written about in the past. For one thing this holiday is definitely a big part of "My mother's legacy"and I suppose that has a lot to do with why "Today I feel thankful."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy the holiday……. and all of your leftovers.

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Our circumstances have nothing to do with our happiness

I wrote this more than three years ago and came across it again recently. In today's world, it seemed appropriate to publish it again. I hope you think so too.


Sick or healthy. Rich or poor. Thin or fat. Tall or short. Curly haired or bald. None of it matters when it comes to waking up happy everyday. What does matter is gratitude and perspective.

What makes a man rich? It is not money. There are plenty of poor people – “economically challenged” – that feel wealthy in ways that are beyond their wildest dreams. They are ‘loaded’ with family and friends, rich in experiences, and participate in life like tycoons. They are showered in immeasurable riches of making a difference to someone and to the world in which they live. These are the people whose vocabulary does NOT include phrases like “I will be happy when…”, or I would e happy if…”


These people know that there are two keys to happiness. Those keys are gratitude and perspective and they go hand in hand.

Gratitude comes from the recognition of just how much you already possess. Gratitude is the opposite of taking things for granted. The challenge for most people is that they don’t know what to be grateful for or where gratitude begins. There are hundreds of items on my list. Below are some of my favorites.

1. Eyes to see and read
2. Ears to hear and listen
3. Arms to hold. Hands to touch
4. Mind to think and understand
5. Heart to feel and care
6. Roof overhead & bed to sleep in
7. Food to eat and tongue to taste
8. Friends to care for & care for me
9. Family to love & spend time with
10. All of my good health. (Other than my MS, I have a lot of good health that I don't take for granted.)

These are all items that you can’t buy and that cannot be taken away from you. Even if I lost one of these, say sight or hearing, there is still much to be grateful for.

Recognizing the value of these assets is a matter of perspective. What’s your perspective? Where does your gratitude begin? Just how rich are you? It is my hope that if you are reading this, you are already a very wealthy person.


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Jim Morrison taught me how to sing.

Jim Morrison, the artist, the poet, and legendary lead singer of The Doors taught me how to sing. I know this is a crazy notion. He died in 1971 and I did not learn how to sing until 1973. But, it's true.

I grew up in Whittier, California until I was 14 years old. Then we moved to Huntington Beach and as a sophomore in high school, I was the "new kid", a less than enviable position to hold. I missed my old friends and old surroundings. That longing made it harder to make new friends.  Without friends, I had a lot of time to myself and developed new habits, one of which was to come home, put on the headphones, turn on the stereo, and sing my heart out. In particular I loved to listen to the "Doors Live" album and would sing along, with my friend Jim, for hours at a time. The vocal range, the pitch, and tone all seemed perfect for me to sing along to and that is how I learned to sing. Practice. Practice. Practice.

You're probably asking, didn't you know how to sing before? Sure, anyone can sing, but not everyone can sing well, on pitch, on key, and with no flats or sharps.  My older brother seemed to have great musical skills. He could sing and play the guitar. Wow! At one holiday gathering we got up to sing together and I was nicely asked "why don't you let your brothers sing this one." I got the message. I did not have his natural singing ability. In fact I was just no good at it... until I met Jim.

Once I learned how to sing, my world changed. I got involved with the school choir, starred in the school musicals and had found a new way to meet people and make friends.  I also learned much more.

I learned, and wholeheartedly believe, that everyone can sing. People who say "I can't sing" usually don't. How are you going to learn anything if you don't do it? Perhaps you don't sing well, have perfect pitch or a voice like Madonna or Jim Morrison, but you never will ifyou never do it. That was an important lesson and has stayed with me

ever since.

Years later, as my kids approached their teenage years, both felt as I

did: that they could not sing. So I pressured, harassed, encouraged

and sang along with them and do you know what happened? They learned

how to sing, got involved with choir and were in the school musicals.

Our son, who had less confidence in his singing then his sister,

became so confident that when he went to college he started an a

cappella group. Both of our kids learned this lesson too.

Singing is also good for the soul. It is a form of expressing almost

every emotion. Joy, sorrow, excitement, loss, love and so much more.

"That is exactly how I feel" Is how we respond when someone has

already put the words and music together. Singing allows us to

verbalize, vocalize those feelings. Expressing those feelings can only

be good for the soul.

If more people sang, the world would be a happier place. We don't have

to join hands and sing Kumbaya (not that this is a bad idea) and we

don't have to sing today's Top 40. What we can do is sing, sing more, sing out loud and sing because it is good for you.

I like the sound of that. Don't you?

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Lessons from a dog.

Our dog is extraordinary and wonderful. (Whose isn't?) She seems to be happy all the time. Always ready to play. Always ready for affection. Always ready to go outside or for a ride in the car or for a walk to the corner. I know that if she could talk she would never tell you that it was gloomy outside.

This thought occurred to me this morning when asking about the weather and was told "it is a little gloomy outside."  Not something our dog would ever say. “Outside” is always glorious, a wonderful opportunity for adventure, intrigue and excitement.

Why is that?

Our dog greets every day with enthusiasm and excitement. A new day is a new opportunity to meet new people, make new friends, go new places, play new games and most of all to get her belly rubbed. Even when engaged in seemingly monotonous activities like " fetch", she exudes a happiness rarely seen in people. Maybe there is something to be learned here.

She seems to greet every moment of every day as an opportunity.  Wow! What a great perspective. Do I do that? If not, then what am I missing out on?

Imagine how different life could be if we saw every moment as an opportunity. There is no question that every moment and every experience is an opportunity to grow, feel, learn and much more. The question is what keeps us from being as excited as a dog in greeting every moment of every day that way? I suppose a simple answer is that we are busy, or other things get in the way. Dogs don't have to pay bills, go to work, or be responsible for pretty much anything. If they were, I wonder if they would greet those activities with the same enthusiasm as they do everything else?

As I think about it, my guess is that our dog probably would greet each day, each task and each responsibility that same way. Maybe it is time for me to re-think how I approach every minute of every day.

Maybe “it's a dog's life” isn't so bad after all.

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Bells Will Be Ringing

Pride, joy, excitement and anticipation are a few of the feelings we have had since we learned of our son's engagement to his girlfriend Abby. It always seems as though everything in life happens at just the right time and this marriage will be no exception to that rule.

We are very proud of Adam's decision to marry Abby. She is everything we could want in a daughter-in-law. Sweet, loving, kind and she makes him very happy.  


Together they make a beautiful couple and seem very good to and for each other. What else could we ask for?

For as long as we can remember Adams's goal in life has been to get married and have a family. He wants to be a husband and a father and I think those are noble aspirations. I am also certain that he will be great at both. (Abby will see to that!)

Abby has every characteristic and trait that our son could want in a partner. She is smart, beautiful, playful and affectionate.   A life and a family are also on her list of dreams and desires and we have every bit of confidence that she can and will have both.

What I like most about both of them is their grateful spirit. They are both filled with a deep sense of gratitude and that will bring them much happiness for many years to come

Abby is a small town girl from the Midwest. Adam is a big city boy from LA. They met on the East Coast. It must have been their destiny. B’shert!

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I was abducted by aliens.

I was abducted by aliens. My dog ate my homework. My grandmother…….. Well, you get the idea.


Many years ago I learned that you either have results or reasons why not. I have a lot of reasons why not, but the fact of the matter is that I have just not been writing. I have started to. I actually have 2 dozen blogs that I have started and not finished. I could blame it on my MS, my family, or any one of 100 other distractions that are more commonly referred to as life. It's funny how life can get in the way of doing other things. Isn't it?


Readers are generally less concerned with the blogs I have started than the ones I have finished. That is pretty much how life is too. As I said earlier you either have" results" or "reasons why not", more commonly referred to as excuses. Let's look at that for a minute.


People who do things never have excuses. Excuses are what people who don't do what they say they are going to do always seem to have. I know this is obvious, but we don't always pay attention to how it relates to ourselves." I tried losing weight but I couldn't." I tried to quit smoking but it was too hard." " I tried to exercise every day but I just don't have the discipline." if this sounds familiar, raise your hand. ( Both of my hands are in the air!)


You can tell when an excuse is coming by the language we use. "Try", "should have" and "almost" are the words used by people who don't get results. People get results say things like " I did it"


What is worse is since we all use excuses, we are always ready to excuse others. We even have phrases like" at least you tried", or " try, and try again". We even say" that's okay. I forgive you" as though that lets someone off the hook for not doing what they said they were going to do. What we do not do is hold people accountable.


Imagine that if we or someone we knew was dieting and not losing weight. What would happen if we asked" what did you do instead?" It might give us or the dieter the opportunity to tell the truth!" I decided to have the cheesecake(or ice cream, or seconds, or cookies. You fill in the blink) instead of diet".


Why haven't I been writing blogs? All I can say is that it had nothing to do with aliens, the dog, my grandmother. I am pretty sure that it had something to do with me.


From Now on I plan on being much more consistent with my writing…….. Unless, of course, something really fantastic gets in my way.


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How to be beautiful

One of my favorite greeting cards reads "For your birthday I was going to get you a day of beauty for $175. But all I could afford was a day of relatively attractive for $35."

Just a couple of weeks ago I went to the movies with my wife and my travel companion, my wheel chair. While there a woman approached me and much to my surprise said "You're beautiful. Oh my God, you are beautiful" and then began to awkwardly apologize. She went on to explain that she wasn't used to seeing attractive people in a wheelchair, but I think she was saying much more than that.

I am not beautiful. There are no beauty pageants in my future. No one has ever come up to me and said that before. What she was really confessing was that her image of a person in a wheelchair was of someone 'unattractive'. That a wheelchair somehow suggested a deformity or disfigurement and thankfully, I don't have either of those. What I do have, and many of us with disabilities have, is to have combat those expectations of being unattractive, deformed, mentally incompetent (STUPID), hard of hearing or somehow less than ``the more able bodied occupants of our planet'.

So let me tell you what I do. I smile at people and say hello. I start conversations with strangers. I make it a point to be seen as the happy guy in the wheelchair….whether at the movies, the grocery store, the doctors office or the airport. Some of the places we go to regularly know me for that and if I have somehow changed their expectations of a guy in a wheelchair, than the world is a nicer place and we are all better off.

Do smiling, saying hello and being friendly make someone more attractive? I think so and apparently the woman at the movie theater thought so too.

Whether in a wheelchair or not, become known as the happy guy. Change people's expectations of how people are and how you are. Smile, say hello, ask a stranger "how are you today" and see what happens.

My guess is that before too long, someone will tell that you are beautiful

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Ten things to learn from Japan

I received this e-mail the other day and thought it was worth sharing. I hope you think so too.

1. *THE CALM*

Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself has
been elevated.


2. *THE DIGNITY*

Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough word or a crude
gesture. Their patience is admirable and praiseworthy.


3. *THE ABILITY*

The incredible architects, for instance. Buildings swayed but didn't fall.


4. *THE GRACE (Selflessness) *

People bought only what they needed for the present, so everybody could
get something.


5. *THE ORDER*

No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the roads. Just
understanding.


6. *THE SACRIFICE*

Fifty workers stayed back to pump sea water in the N-reactors. How will
they ever be repaid?


7. *THE TENDERNESS*

Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The strong cared
for the weak.


8. *THE TRAINING*

The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do. And they did
just that.


9. *THE MEDIA*

They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No silly reporters.
Only calm reportage. Most of all - NO POLITICIANS TRYING TO GET CHEAP
MILEAGE.

10. *THE CONSCIENCE*

When the power went off in a store, people put things back on the
shelves and left quietly.

With their country in the midst of a colossal disaster - The world can learn much from the citizens of Japan.

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