Bells Will Be Ringing

Pride, joy, excitement and anticipation are a few of the feelings we have had since we learned of our son's engagement to his girlfriend Abby. It always seems as though everything in life happens at just the right time and this marriage will be no exception to that rule.

We are very proud of Adam's decision to marry Abby. She is everything we could want in a daughter-in-law. Sweet, loving, kind and she makes him very happy.  


Together they make a beautiful couple and seem very good to and for each other. What else could we ask for?

For as long as we can remember Adams's goal in life has been to get married and have a family. He wants to be a husband and a father and I think those are noble aspirations. I am also certain that he will be great at both. (Abby will see to that!)

Abby has every characteristic and trait that our son could want in a partner. She is smart, beautiful, playful and affectionate.   A life and a family are also on her list of dreams and desires and we have every bit of confidence that she can and will have both.

What I like most about both of them is their grateful spirit. They are both filled with a deep sense of gratitude and that will bring them much happiness for many years to come

Abby is a small town girl from the Midwest. Adam is a big city boy from LA. They met on the East Coast. It must have been their destiny. B’shert!

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Twenty-nine years ago today.

It was exactly twenty-nine years ago today that I was married and my life was forever changed for the better. I was going to write a blog about it, just like I did last year. Then, after reading what I wrote then, decided that last year’s entry said it all. So if you missed it last year, here it is again.

Please read and enjoy. It’s about the love of my life.

It was exactly 28 years ago today (Now 29 years) that my wife Gail and I went to the best wedding celebration ever – OURS. If you could ask any of the 325+ people in attendance, they would all say the same thing – Best wedding ever.

What started out as something great,. has grown into something greater, more important and more meaningful than I ever could have imagined. After 28 years of marriage, we are now in the best place we have ever been. I can honestly say that I am more “in love” with my wife today than I have ever been before. She is, without a doubt, the sweetest, kindest, most caring and considerate, selfless and loving person I have ever known. I am a lucky man and feel truly grateful to be able to spend every day with her.

When you have been married as long as we have, we can look back and recognize the tough patches we made it through. We certainly have had our share of them. We were even separated for 14 months many years ago, from June ’86 to August ’87. During that time an expert on marriage (he’s been married four times!) told me that “staying married is its own reward.” I believe that until you have been married for 15 or 20 years, you can’t really begin to understand how true this statement is. There is an intimacy and level of comfort that comes from knowing someone so well and for so long, that can’t be explained. It is to be experienced.

Ask people who have been married a long time what the key to success is and you will get a lot of different answers. “Respect.” “Friendship.” “Patience.” Those are all good. But I have a different answer and that is “GRATITUDE.”

Maybe it is easy for me to say because I am married to Gail. Or maybe t is easier for me to say because of my disability and my needing so much help that she so readily provides, which makes me feel particularly grateful. Whatever the reason is, I never let a day go by without really letting her know how much I love her and how grateful I am. I believe that if one is truly grateful, expresses it and shows it, than the other stuff (respect, friendship, patience, etc.) will take care of itself. It certainly seems to work for us.

There is a side benefit too. When you really love someone, and feel truly in love, even after all these years, the beauty remains in the eye of the beholder…..and I am truly beholden to my beautiful wife.

Happy anniversary, Gail.

I will love you always,

Michael

What if you couldn't?

This is not about sex. It really isn’t.

My friend has a beautiful, sweet, smart wife that he loves. They have two kids and a beautiful home and life together. What they don’t have is as much sex as he wants. He wants to have sex every morning (what he calls his “Breakfast of Champions”) and every night. His wife doesn’t have his appetite and so they only have sex a few times a week. Because of her ‘unwillingness’, he is thinking of leaving her. WOW! When I heard this I was shocked. Such a beautiful, happy couple on the verge of divorce and for what? Not ENOUGH sex. To me, that was an odd priority to base a relationship on.

One of the benefits I have gained from having a disability is that it makes me uniquely qualified to say and do certain things. This was one of those instances. I asked my friend what would he do if something happened to him and he no longer had the ability to have sex twice a day? What would he do then? I also asked him if he ever got really sick, who would he want by his side?

It was a fantastic moment. He understood immediately what I was asking and the point I was making by asking the question. You could actually see him re-establishing his priorities at that very instant. It is now several years later and they are still happily married. I haven’t asked how often they have sex. But I would bet that it is still not twice a day. More importantly, I would bet that they are going to be together, happily married, for many years to come.

As I mentioned, this is not about sex. It is about priorities and self examination. Most people will never have to deal with these questions. That is a good thing. What is also a good thing is taking the time to ask yourself questions and examine your own identity. “What if I you couldn’t” may only be hypothetical today. Having asked yourself the question and having considered it as a possibility, may prove to be beneficial if circumstances ever change and you are confronted with a new reality.

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