I was abducted by aliens. My dog ate my homework. My grandmother…….. Well, you get the idea.
Many years ago I learned that you either have results or reasons why not. I have a lot of reasons why not, but the fact of the matter is that I have just not been writing. I have started to. I actually have 2 dozen blogs that I have started and not finished. I could blame it on my MS, my family, or any one of 100 other distractions that are more commonly referred to as life. It's funny how life can get in the way of doing other things. Isn't it?
Readers are generally less concerned with the blogs I have started than the ones I have finished. That is pretty much how life is too. As I said earlier you either have" results" or "reasons why not", more commonly referred to as excuses. Let's look at that for a minute.
People who do things never have excuses. Excuses are what people who don't do what they say they are going to do always seem to have. I know this is obvious, but we don't always pay attention to how it relates to ourselves." I tried losing weight but I couldn't." I tried to quit smoking but it was too hard." " I tried to exercise every day but I just don't have the discipline." if this sounds familiar, raise your hand. ( Both of my hands are in the air!)
You can tell when an excuse is coming by the language we use. "Try", "should have" and "almost" are the words used by people who don't get results. People get results say things like " I did it"
What is worse is since we all use excuses, we are always ready to excuse others. We even have phrases like" at least you tried", or " try, and try again". We even say" that's okay. I forgive you" as though that lets someone off the hook for not doing what they said they were going to do. What we do not do is hold people accountable.
Imagine that if we or someone we knew was dieting and not losing weight. What would happen if we asked" what did you do instead?" It might give us or the dieter the opportunity to tell the truth!" I decided to have the cheesecake(or ice cream, or seconds, or cookies. You fill in the blink) instead of diet".
Why haven't I been writing blogs? All I can say is that it had nothing to do with aliens, the dog, my grandmother. I am pretty sure that it had something to do with me.
From Now on I plan on being much more consistent with my writing…….. Unless, of course, something really fantastic gets in my way.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Showing posts with label Perspecti1ve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perspecti1ve. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sunday, September 26, 2010
The Medical Report
I remember laughing. It was almost 30 years ago and if you called my mother-in-law and asked “How ya doing?” you got the answer, the whole medical report whether you wanted it or not. Well, here it is, almost 30 years later and if you ask me, or my wife, or most of our friends “How ya doing?”, you are likely to get the whole medical report.
What happened? We got older. More importantly, our bodies got older too and with aging bodies comes more ailments, diseases….and medical reports.
The truth is that those we care about and those who care about us want to know how we are. It’s more than a morbid curiousity. But rather an “I made it” –“Did you make it too?” type of curiosity. The fact is that we are getting older and to me, that’s the good news.
For many years I have said “If we are lucky enough to live long enough, we will all have something to deal with.” That’s the good news. It means that we have lived long enough to have something. That’s life and I would rather have it than not have it. Some of us are ‘lucky enough to have our health issues earlier…..like me.
God willing you are in your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s or older and are healthy and strong. What a blessing. But chances are that if you have lived that long, you know someone who has had to face serious health issues and chances are that when you ask “How ya doing?”, you really want to know.
Little did I know that way back when I asked my mother-in-law “How ya doing”, the meaning and significance those three little words would take on not that many years later.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
What happened? We got older. More importantly, our bodies got older too and with aging bodies comes more ailments, diseases….and medical reports.
The truth is that those we care about and those who care about us want to know how we are. It’s more than a morbid curiousity. But rather an “I made it” –“Did you make it too?” type of curiosity. The fact is that we are getting older and to me, that’s the good news.
For many years I have said “If we are lucky enough to live long enough, we will all have something to deal with.” That’s the good news. It means that we have lived long enough to have something. That’s life and I would rather have it than not have it. Some of us are ‘lucky enough to have our health issues earlier…..like me.
God willing you are in your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s or older and are healthy and strong. What a blessing. But chances are that if you have lived that long, you know someone who has had to face serious health issues and chances are that when you ask “How ya doing?”, you really want to know.
Little did I know that way back when I asked my mother-in-law “How ya doing”, the meaning and significance those three little words would take on not that many years later.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
It takes a village…..or at least it’s better that way.
There are always at least two ways to do everything. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Alone or with others.
I like to do things with others. In fact, I am certain that my life is better because of all the people in it. I can say with certainty that as a person with a disability, my life is also easier because of all the people in it.
If I need help, someone is there to help. If I need someone to talk to, someone is there to listen. If I need a laugh, someone is there to play with or share a joke. When I am there to listen to someone else, than I know that I am of value to another person.
Having people in your life and being involved with others is a great reminder that you are alive and worthwhile. It can also help one forget about their troubles for awhile and that is always a good thing.
I recently read an article about isolation (InsideMS /Healthy Living / Isolation) that was written by my friend Alison Dale. It turns out that isolation is a pretty big problem in our MS community and is often a problem for anyone living with a chronic condition. I am guessing that it is a problem for many people without a chronic condition as well. (Isolation can lead to depression and that can be a serious problem. If you or someone you know suffers from depression, please get help.)
There are many reasons why and how a person becomes isolated. Some may have to do with physical limitations or disability. Some with fatigue and sometimes it is just the belief that no one understands or cares. Whatever the reason, isolation means being alone and being alone is no way too spend all of your time.
If you are alone and don’t want to be, do something about it. Call a friend and invite them over. Go to church or temple and find ways to get involved there. Join a club or service organization. Volunteer. There are hundreds of ways to get involved with others and millions of nice, caring people in the world. Finding them is not difficult. It just requires a little initiative.
If you are not a likeable person, become one. Learn to ask questions of and about others and listen to their answers. Practice gratitude. Say hello to strangers and learn to smile. You will get back what you put out and will soon find that you have created your own community.
If you are not alone, go find someone who is. Make a difference in someone else’s life. You will both be glad that you did.
Life is better when you have people to share it with. For some people that may mean marriage or family. For others, it may mean friends or belonging to a group.
Having a full, rich, meaningful life requires people to be in it. In my case, it takes (or at least I have) a village.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Rejection has never felt so good.
Is it the good news or the bad news? This past week and for the third time, I was turned down as a participant in a clinical trial. Getting into one of these trials as a volunteer/participant is tougher than I thought it would be. This time, however, being turned down was the good news.
This particular study was to see if exercise could improve the cognitive function of those of us living with MS. You needed to have a minimal level of physical ability and some evidence of loss of cognitive function. The doctor gave me a physical exam and then the Clinical Director administered a test of 60 questions to measure thinking skills and memory processing speed. The good news is that I answered 59 of the 60 questions correctly. A high score.
The bad news was that because of my score, I was not an eligible candidate for the study. Geez……..I may never get into one of these clinical trials.
More than half of the people living with MS will experience some level of cognitive dysfunction. Another fact is that over time, the great majority of us will experience some physical disability. Given a choice (which I am not), I would choose to have the physical disability over the cognitive disability every time. Luckily for me, that is how the course of my MS seems to be going.
Acceptance seems to be one of the best ways to live with a chronic condition….really, to live life under any conditions. By acceptance I don’t mean complacency or resignation. I mean accepting what is true, what cannot be changed and making the most out of whatever abilities I do have.
According to the test, my cognitive function is great. Will it always be that way? I can only hope so and can take steps to maintain the status quo, both mentally and physically. But if it changes, I know exactly what will do. Make the most out of whatever abilities I do have.
Will I ever get into one of these studies? I can only hope not.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Doing the best we can Part Four: "Never Underestimate The Power Of A Smile"
I found what I hope is the perfect ending to this series on doing the best you can. It is a very short video taken from ABC News of a graduation speech given by a very special young man. The video takes less than three minutes to watch and shows us all the power of what can be done when we do the best we can.
Student's Inspirational Graduation Speech
Monday, June 7, 2010
Doing the best we can. Part three: Life and love.
That said, meet Dan and Jennifer. They met several years ago, fell in love, got married and have been happy ever since. A typical love story, except for one thing. They both have multiple sclerosis.
Dan has relapsing-remitting MS and it is not as severe as Jennifer’s (or mine!). He works, he walks and he jogs about three times a week. He also cares for Jennifer.
Jennifer has secondary-progressive MS. She cannot work or walk. But she is a caregiver to Dan, helping in every way that she can.
Dan and Jennifer have something else too. They have a tremendous spirit and attitude that propels them to make a difference in the world. As a result, they are an example to everyone who knows or knows of them.
Having MS does not stop them from participating. In fact, just the opposite is true. They lead and inspire others. They fundraise, advocate and speak. They receive rewards and recognition and are featured in articles and videos. They have even figured out how to dance together. They are alive, in love and living with a chronic illness.
They are not only doing the best they can, they are doing great.
I have never met Dan and Jennifer, but have been a fan for some time now. I am always touched and inspired by the things they do and their extraordinary love for each other. Read Dan and Jennifer's blog and learn more about them. Learn about two people doing their best in life and love and be inspired to do the best you can.
Dan and Jennifer have a prayer that say every night and part of it is as follows:
“Gracious God, help Jennifer and me to accept your will in our illness. As your children we believe that you cause all things to work together for our good, both of body and of spirit. But sometimes in the midst of illness and pain we forget or doubt. Forgive our weak faith. When we become impatient, encourage us by your word. Despite our worries and suffering, help us by our lives to reflect the radiance and confidence of those certain of your promises of help. Restore us to sound health if it be your will, and enable us with new vigor and enthusiasm to serve you zealously for many years to come. O Lord, have mercy. Hear our prayer. Amen.”
I think their prayers are being answered.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Doing the best we can. Part Two. When is failure a success?
In 2004 she went back and made it to the top. She then decided to be the first person with MS to climb the highest mountain on every continent: Kilimanjaro, Denali,
A climb like this requires much more than physical strength and determination. Many of the obstacles are unknown and unpredictable until the climber gets there and discovers how their body responds. At over 17,000 feet, Wendy’s body could no longer tolerate the lack of oxygen and extreme temperature changes, all compounded and magnified by her MS. She did not make it to the top. She did not realize her goal.
Wendy has set an example for all of us. We all have ‘mountains to climb’. The questions are will we and will we do the best we can?
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Do the best we can. Who could ask for more than that?
I spent 26 years in management and came from the school that said “you either have results or excuses why not”. It was an approach to managing salespeople in particular that did not allow for excuses, reasons and stories about why not. We wanted results and this approach is both valid and effective in that arena and in many areas of my life today. Yet today, my view seems to have changed….softened. There are some things that we just cannot do or control.
I bring this up because I recently received an e-mail from one of my new ‘internet friends’. I had asked him to participate in something and he responded telling me why he could not attend, then saying “I can see you shaking your head and thinking; excuses, excuses.” His response hit me like a punch in the gut. OUCH! Do I really convey such a lack of understanding or sensitivity? I hope not and trust that his comment had more to do with his knowing how active I am and then comparing himself to me.
Two issues are at stake. The first has to do with excuses and the second is comparisons.
Excuses
We all have excuses. We use them to justify ourselves for the things we do or don’t do; our reasons why or why not. The question we must ask ourselves is do our excuses keep us from doing the things we want to do and can do? Please know that I am less concerned with what others think of my, or your, reasons and excuses than I am with why I, or you, have them.
The first question we must ask ourselves is can it be done and then, can it be done by me, or you?
Comparisons
Maybe it is human nature, or some flawed instinct that many of us possess. Whatever the reason, to varying degrees we all tend to compare ourselves to others. We do this at the most superficial levels and without regard to other considerations such as physical health, socio-economic factors, genetics, personality and a whole host of other reasons that make us all different.
While it may be human nature, comparing ourselves to others is just wrong. We are each unique in a million different ways. The only person that I can honestly compare myself to is me.
Did I do what I said I was going to do?
Did I do as much as I could do?
Did I do the best that I could do?
If I needed help, did I ask for it? Did I get it?
Am I being the person I want to be?
I do a lot of things and very few of them do I do alone. I have an extraordinary support system that surrounds me and allows me to all the things I am able to do. Everyone needs support and help. Some of us just need more or different help than others.
My hope for you, for all of us really, is that if we need help or support, that we are able to get it and that we do the best we can do. Who could ask for more than that?
Over the next several weeks I will revisit this issue of doing the best we can. I hope to include stories of others who do amazing things and make a difference in the world. I hope you will check back and let me know your thoughts and stories……or at least, do the best you can.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Five Rules for a Happy Life
I have my share of problems and challenges. I have stress, financial worries, children to worry about and a million other daily “life issues” just like everybody else does. I also have a disability and chronic disease that keeps me from working and walking. But none of that keeps me from waking up happy every day of my life.
I have broken down ‘my approach’ to life into five simple rules that I want to share with you. Why? Because they work for me. Maybe they will work for you too.
The rules are as follows:
RULE ONE: The last person you should be thinking about is you. If you are thinking about yourself, then have that thought start with “How fortunate I am”, “How lucky I am”, “How blessed I am.” Or ask questions like “How can I help?”, “What difference can I make?” But if you are thinking “Poor me”, get off the pity pot! Happiness begins with gratitude and making a difference to others.
Don’t get me wrong, we do have to think about ourselves sometimes. We have to take care of ourselves and our physical and spiritual needs. “Necessity is the mother of invention” and many of the advances that we enjoy today were the result of somebody having a problem and solving it. But if focusing on your own problems is getting you down, try focusing on and helping someone else. It will help. Remember, things could always be worse.
RULE TWO: Trust everyone. You will find that you make mistakes sometimes, but being trusting is a much better way to approach life. If you live and work in such a way that your life is an open book, you will have nothing to worry about, people will trust you and be trustworthy.
RULE THREE: Know that everything in life happens for a reason. Expect life.
Scott Peck begins his book “The Road Less Traveled” with three simple and powerful words: “Life is difficult.” He goes on to explain that the challenge many of us face has to do with our expecting life to be easy and it isn’t. He then goes on to say “that once we see this truth, we transcend it.” In other words, just knowing and expecting that life will be difficult, makes it less difficult.
Some people I know say “always expect the worse and you will never be disappointed”. I disagree. Remember, everything that happens in life happens for a reason. We get to choose what the reason is. Find something of value in every event and circumstance and you will never need to expect the worst.
RULE FOUR: Make a difference. Be involved with something. Don’t just be a member. Be a participant. Show up. Don’t sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else have all the fun. Do more. Give more. Play more. Write more. Love more. If you want more out of life, if you want to be able to say “I got more then I gave”, be a participant.
RULE FIVE: If you are not happy about something, change it. If you can’t change it, then change the way you feel or think about it. The one thing in life that we can control is how we feel about things, our judgments. Exercise that ability and you will build strong character and be a happier person.
Problems? Challenges? Sure. I have as many or more than the next guy. But those problems don’t mean that my glass is half empty or half full. My glass is overflowing.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
I have broken down ‘my approach’ to life into five simple rules that I want to share with you. Why? Because they work for me. Maybe they will work for you too.
The rules are as follows:
RULE ONE: The last person you should be thinking about is you. If you are thinking about yourself, then have that thought start with “How fortunate I am”, “How lucky I am”, “How blessed I am.” Or ask questions like “How can I help?”, “What difference can I make?” But if you are thinking “Poor me”, get off the pity pot! Happiness begins with gratitude and making a difference to others.
Don’t get me wrong, we do have to think about ourselves sometimes. We have to take care of ourselves and our physical and spiritual needs. “Necessity is the mother of invention” and many of the advances that we enjoy today were the result of somebody having a problem and solving it. But if focusing on your own problems is getting you down, try focusing on and helping someone else. It will help. Remember, things could always be worse.
RULE TWO: Trust everyone. You will find that you make mistakes sometimes, but being trusting is a much better way to approach life. If you live and work in such a way that your life is an open book, you will have nothing to worry about, people will trust you and be trustworthy.
RULE THREE: Know that everything in life happens for a reason. Expect life.
Scott Peck begins his book “The Road Less Traveled” with three simple and powerful words: “Life is difficult.” He goes on to explain that the challenge many of us face has to do with our expecting life to be easy and it isn’t. He then goes on to say “that once we see this truth, we transcend it.” In other words, just knowing and expecting that life will be difficult, makes it less difficult.
Some people I know say “always expect the worse and you will never be disappointed”. I disagree. Remember, everything that happens in life happens for a reason. We get to choose what the reason is. Find something of value in every event and circumstance and you will never need to expect the worst.
RULE FOUR: Make a difference. Be involved with something. Don’t just be a member. Be a participant. Show up. Don’t sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else have all the fun. Do more. Give more. Play more. Write more. Love more. If you want more out of life, if you want to be able to say “I got more then I gave”, be a participant.
RULE FIVE: If you are not happy about something, change it. If you can’t change it, then change the way you feel or think about it. The one thing in life that we can control is how we feel about things, our judgments. Exercise that ability and you will build strong character and be a happier person.
Problems? Challenges? Sure. I have as many or more than the next guy. But those problems don’t mean that my glass is half empty or half full. My glass is overflowing.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Monday, March 8, 2010
What will you do?
The National MS Society has declared March 8-14 “National MS Awareness Week” and the MS Foundation calls March the “National MS Education and Awareness Month”. With that said, the question is “what will you do?”
Over the past few years we have become increasingly involved with the National MS Society. What I have learned from that involvement is that most everybody wants to help. They just don’t know what to do. Below are a few suggestions and I hope they will help you.
Join one of 600 MS Walks taking place from coast to coast
Better yet, join our team, the JiggyWiggits on April 18th at the Greater LA Walk around the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. The Walk is a great way to spend the day and participate in raising money to find a cure.
Click here to Join or Donate or Find A Walk Near You
Become an MS Activist
This is easy to do, free and makes a huge difference. The more voices we have, the more we are heard. The more we are heard, the better the research funding, legislation, services and more for people living with MS.
Be an MS activist.
Be a volunteer
Volunteers are needed and make it all happen. They assist with all the big events (The Walk, the Bike Ride and Challenge Walk) and with individual support and activities (Peer counseling, financial aid, referrals and resources).
Click here to Volunteer
Learn something new and share it
There is so much to know and so much information available that it is impossible for any one person to stay on top of it all. Fortunately, the National MS Society does a pretty good job of that. But having the info on their website is not enough. It needs to be read and shared with others. Learn something new about research and treatments and share it with someone you know.
Learn Something New About MS Research and Treatment
Join an MS Support Group
If you live with or are caring for someone with MS, then there is probably a Community Support Group near you. These groups provide a forum for the exchange of information and ideas on living better with MS. Join the community. No one has to go through this alone.
Support Groups In Southern California
Find a Chapter of the MS Society near you.
Host your own fundraiser
Carwashes, bake sales and lemonade stands. There are a million ways to help raise money for research and treatment of MS. All you need to get started is to click here:
Host your own fundraiser
Ask somebody to donate to the cause
For many people, fundraising is a four letter word. But after years of experience, I know how to make it easy. Ask the people that you give money to for help. Ask your doctor, lawyer or accountant to donate. Ask your insurance agent, electrician or plumber to help. And, if you ask everyone that you give money to for a donation, they will do it. It is a very simple concept. “You wash my back and I will wash yours.” But if you don’t ask, you don’t get. So do it today. Send them to our link. You’ll feel good and they will too.
Click here to Join or Donate
The first step is to increase awareness. With increased awareness comes increased funding. With increased funding comes a cure. We can all be a part of the cure for MS. The only question is “What will you do?”
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Over the past few years we have become increasingly involved with the National MS Society. What I have learned from that involvement is that most everybody wants to help. They just don’t know what to do. Below are a few suggestions and I hope they will help you.
Join one of 600 MS Walks taking place from coast to coast
Better yet, join our team, the JiggyWiggits on April 18th at the Greater LA Walk around the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. The Walk is a great way to spend the day and participate in raising money to find a cure.
Click here to Join or Donate or Find A Walk Near You
Become an MS Activist
This is easy to do, free and makes a huge difference. The more voices we have, the more we are heard. The more we are heard, the better the research funding, legislation, services and more for people living with MS.
Be an MS activist.
Be a volunteer
Volunteers are needed and make it all happen. They assist with all the big events (The Walk, the Bike Ride and Challenge Walk) and with individual support and activities (Peer counseling, financial aid, referrals and resources).
Click here to Volunteer
Learn something new and share it
There is so much to know and so much information available that it is impossible for any one person to stay on top of it all. Fortunately, the National MS Society does a pretty good job of that. But having the info on their website is not enough. It needs to be read and shared with others. Learn something new about research and treatments and share it with someone you know.
Learn Something New About MS Research and Treatment
Join an MS Support Group
If you live with or are caring for someone with MS, then there is probably a Community Support Group near you. These groups provide a forum for the exchange of information and ideas on living better with MS. Join the community. No one has to go through this alone.
Support Groups In Southern California
Find a Chapter of the MS Society near you.
Host your own fundraiser
Carwashes, bake sales and lemonade stands. There are a million ways to help raise money for research and treatment of MS. All you need to get started is to click here:
Host your own fundraiser
Ask somebody to donate to the cause
For many people, fundraising is a four letter word. But after years of experience, I know how to make it easy. Ask the people that you give money to for help. Ask your doctor, lawyer or accountant to donate. Ask your insurance agent, electrician or plumber to help. And, if you ask everyone that you give money to for a donation, they will do it. It is a very simple concept. “You wash my back and I will wash yours.” But if you don’t ask, you don’t get. So do it today. Send them to our link. You’ll feel good and they will too.
Click here to Join or Donate
The first step is to increase awareness. With increased awareness comes increased funding. With increased funding comes a cure. We can all be a part of the cure for MS. The only question is “What will you do?”
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Staying in the race.
I love to run. Now that may come as a surprise to many of you, especially since I use a walker or wheelchair today, but it’s true.
I started running about 15 years ago, late by most runners standards, and I was not a typical runner. Truthfully, I was a jogger and some runners would say that jogging is not the same as running and they are right. So for arguments sake, let’s say that I love to jog.
When I started jogging I weighed about 234 pounds, a substantial amount for anybody 5’8” tall and especially a jogger. I started out, probably like a lot of people, on a treadmill, first with walking and then jogging a few steps, then walking and then jogging again and so on. Eventually I got to the point where I could jog constantly for 30 minutes. At that point I had become a real jogger.
How much jogging did I do? A fair amount. I would get up and jog a 5K almost every morning, at least 5 days a week. Do you know what happened? I lost weight? Do you know what I discovered? If I jogged, I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight. What a great deal that was! I jogged, which I loved to do, and I got to eat whatever I wanted. I had found the formula for a happy life.
In time I did a number of 5K events, even a few 10K’s. But a 10K is only 6.5 miles and I needed to go further. Joggers and runners talk about being in the zone. The zone is both a mental and physical state that enables you to keep going. It transcends distance and exhaustion and you keep moving. It is difficult to explain or to expect someone to understand unless they have been in the zone, too. For you non-joggers, you are just going to have to trust me on this one.
Early one Saturday morning I set out to jog a greater distance. I did not know how far I would get, but I was going. I put my wife on alert that she may have to pick me up at some yet to be determined location and I was off. A few hours later she picked me up. I had jogged 13 miles, a half marathon. I did it and I still had a lot more in me. I was about to become a long distance jogger.
No matter how you do it, jogging, walking or running, it still takes a lot of time to go 20 miles. That distance, 20 miles, became my regular weekend run and it took me 4.5 to 5 hours to do. I would leave my house between 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning, drive to Beverly Hills, park the car and head to the ocean…..and back. A pretty good run, or jog, by almost anyone’s standards.
I kept up my jogging for many months, though in time it was less and less. Why? Mostly because of work. It got to a point where I usually worked six days a week and 10 to 14 hour days were more common than uncommon. Eventually work had replaced jogging altogether.
A few years later, I started having problems with my legs; numbness, tingling and weakness. I called the doctor and in a matter of days was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Since that time, the disease has progressed and my walking is very limited and requires a walker. Obviously my jogging days are over.
Today I use jogging as a metaphor. I get up every day and ‘put my sneakers on’, metaphorically speaking, that is. I still sign up, register and prepare for life’s big events and know that to be a participant, I have to go the distance to cross the finish line. We all do…..if we choose to.
About two years ago I was introduced to Mitchell, an extraordinary man who has survived incredible life events including a plane crash and motorcycle accident. Today he is confined to a wheelchair and says "Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I've lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left." Clearly he is focused on what he can do. (www.wmitchell.com )
I can’t jog anymore. But not being able to jog doesn’t keep me out of the race. I still participate. I do what I can and focus on what I can do. In many ways, I am busier and happier today than I have ever been. I write, travel, skydive, speak for the MS Society, socialize and much more.
I am still in the race.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
I started running about 15 years ago, late by most runners standards, and I was not a typical runner. Truthfully, I was a jogger and some runners would say that jogging is not the same as running and they are right. So for arguments sake, let’s say that I love to jog.
When I started jogging I weighed about 234 pounds, a substantial amount for anybody 5’8” tall and especially a jogger. I started out, probably like a lot of people, on a treadmill, first with walking and then jogging a few steps, then walking and then jogging again and so on. Eventually I got to the point where I could jog constantly for 30 minutes. At that point I had become a real jogger.
How much jogging did I do? A fair amount. I would get up and jog a 5K almost every morning, at least 5 days a week. Do you know what happened? I lost weight? Do you know what I discovered? If I jogged, I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight. What a great deal that was! I jogged, which I loved to do, and I got to eat whatever I wanted. I had found the formula for a happy life.
In time I did a number of 5K events, even a few 10K’s. But a 10K is only 6.5 miles and I needed to go further. Joggers and runners talk about being in the zone. The zone is both a mental and physical state that enables you to keep going. It transcends distance and exhaustion and you keep moving. It is difficult to explain or to expect someone to understand unless they have been in the zone, too. For you non-joggers, you are just going to have to trust me on this one.
Early one Saturday morning I set out to jog a greater distance. I did not know how far I would get, but I was going. I put my wife on alert that she may have to pick me up at some yet to be determined location and I was off. A few hours later she picked me up. I had jogged 13 miles, a half marathon. I did it and I still had a lot more in me. I was about to become a long distance jogger.
No matter how you do it, jogging, walking or running, it still takes a lot of time to go 20 miles. That distance, 20 miles, became my regular weekend run and it took me 4.5 to 5 hours to do. I would leave my house between 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning, drive to Beverly Hills, park the car and head to the ocean…..and back. A pretty good run, or jog, by almost anyone’s standards.
I kept up my jogging for many months, though in time it was less and less. Why? Mostly because of work. It got to a point where I usually worked six days a week and 10 to 14 hour days were more common than uncommon. Eventually work had replaced jogging altogether.
A few years later, I started having problems with my legs; numbness, tingling and weakness. I called the doctor and in a matter of days was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Since that time, the disease has progressed and my walking is very limited and requires a walker. Obviously my jogging days are over.
Today I use jogging as a metaphor. I get up every day and ‘put my sneakers on’, metaphorically speaking, that is. I still sign up, register and prepare for life’s big events and know that to be a participant, I have to go the distance to cross the finish line. We all do…..if we choose to.
About two years ago I was introduced to Mitchell, an extraordinary man who has survived incredible life events including a plane crash and motorcycle accident. Today he is confined to a wheelchair and says "Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I've lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left." Clearly he is focused on what he can do. (www.wmitchell.com )
I can’t jog anymore. But not being able to jog doesn’t keep me out of the race. I still participate. I do what I can and focus on what I can do. In many ways, I am busier and happier today than I have ever been. I write, travel, skydive, speak for the MS Society, socialize and much more.
I am still in the race.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Friday, January 1, 2010
It starts with the decision: "It can be done."
It starts with the decision: "It can be done."
It's New Year's Day. As is our custom, we woke up, turned on the TV and began watching the Rose Parade and then I saw them. The Ohio State School for the Blind Marching Band. WOW! A blind marching band. Who thought of that? The answer is "somebody did."
To me, it was both impressive and beautiful. Their story is better. The band existed, but did not start marching until the Ohio School for the Deaf revived its football program and requested a marching band. Fantastic on all accounts. (Learn More)
The fact is that doing the impossible always starts with someone having the idea that it can be done.
This is true for any and every advancement that we as a species have ever made. Advancements in science, politics, sports, human rights, technology, the arts and so on have all resulted because someone decided it can be done.
When Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile barrier in 1954, our world was forever changed. He did it because he believed it could be done and the impossible was suddenly possible. Since that time, scores of people have run a four minute mile. Is a three minute mile possible? It won’t until someone decides it can be done. For me, I have learned to never say never.
I am relatively certain that I will never run a four minute mile (or five or six minute mile either!). But because there are people who can and do believe that things are possible, the impossible, the unthinkable, the unimaginable has become possible. Today we know that you can never prove a negative. That is, you can never prove that something will never happen. What we can do is continue to make advances, even if only at a fraction of a second at a time.
The treatments we have today for cancer, diabetes, heart disease, AIDS and MS were all non-existent just 30 years ago. Will we cure all of these diseases? We won’t unless we think it can be done.
It is a now 2010. It is a time for me to ask myself “What can I do?” I have a few ideas and if I do them, I promise to let you know about them. My hope for the new year is that you will ask yourself the same question.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
It's New Year's Day. As is our custom, we woke up, turned on the TV and began watching the Rose Parade and then I saw them. The Ohio State School for the Blind Marching Band. WOW! A blind marching band. Who thought of that? The answer is "somebody did."
To me, it was both impressive and beautiful. Their story is better. The band existed, but did not start marching until the Ohio School for the Deaf revived its football program and requested a marching band. Fantastic on all accounts. (Learn More)
The fact is that doing the impossible always starts with someone having the idea that it can be done.
This is true for any and every advancement that we as a species have ever made. Advancements in science, politics, sports, human rights, technology, the arts and so on have all resulted because someone decided it can be done.
When Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile barrier in 1954, our world was forever changed. He did it because he believed it could be done and the impossible was suddenly possible. Since that time, scores of people have run a four minute mile. Is a three minute mile possible? It won’t until someone decides it can be done. For me, I have learned to never say never.
I am relatively certain that I will never run a four minute mile (or five or six minute mile either!). But because there are people who can and do believe that things are possible, the impossible, the unthinkable, the unimaginable has become possible. Today we know that you can never prove a negative. That is, you can never prove that something will never happen. What we can do is continue to make advances, even if only at a fraction of a second at a time.
The treatments we have today for cancer, diabetes, heart disease, AIDS and MS were all non-existent just 30 years ago. Will we cure all of these diseases? We won’t unless we think it can be done.
It is a now 2010. It is a time for me to ask myself “What can I do?” I have a few ideas and if I do them, I promise to let you know about them. My hope for the new year is that you will ask yourself the same question.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
My Bucket List Just Got Shorter.
I have wanted to do it for years. I was going to do it for my 50th birthday and couldn’t because I weighed too much, so I waited. I lost weight (30 pounds) and for my 52nd birthday, I did it. I jumped out of an airplane and went SKYDIVING.
Like most first-time jumpers, I did a tandem jump. This means that I was tied to, strapped to and hooked to an experienced jumper. It also meant that I did not have to worry about opening my parachute. It was done for me.
There was nothing for me to worry about. When I was at the door of the plane readying to jump, there was no time to say “Wait, wait, wait!”, or even think about it. Before I knew it, my ‘travel partner’ and I were out of the plane and free-falling.
Free-falling. Now there is a term. Let me explain what freefalling is like.
Imagine a roller-coaster ride. The ride climbs to the top and then WHOOSH! You are dropping at about 75 to 85 miles per hour and the drop, rarely more than 100 feet, lasts for two to three seconds. Although you are safely strapped in and seated in a metal car, your hands are in the air as you scream with delight; perhaps the longest two or three seconds of your life.
Free-falling is different. Your airplane climbs to 12,500 feet and then you jump. A small chute opens quickly so that you are face down and slowed to 120 miles per hour. You ‘fall’ at that speed for just over a mile, about six thousand feet, and for about 30 seconds. (Want to know how long thirty seconds is? Count it out saying “One thousand and one, one thousand and two”, etc) Also, there is no metal car. Just your own personal cheerleader, riding on your back and encouraging you the whole way down.
Sensory Overload. My arms instinctively spread wide like a bird. The goggles protect your eyes, but my cheeks were flapping in the wind, while my heart raced and my mind went numb! Too much to absorb. Too much to take in all at once.
I looked down and was amazed at how high up in the air I was. As far as I was concerned, I could see for hundreds of miles. The thrill, the excitement and the adrenaline were like nothing I had ever experienced before. I quickly understood why so many make this there sport of choice.
Finally and suddenly the parachute opens. The next seven or eight minutes are spent coasting to earth…..albeit at a much faster speed than I had expected. Most of that time was spent regaining my composure, high-fiving my travel companion and trying to absorb everything I had just gone through.
Jumping with me were my son, Adam and my good friend Randy. It was Adam’s first time too. But it was Randy’s 359th jump and he goes solo. While the rest of us were outfitted with helmets and jumpsuits, Randy wore only a t-shirt and shorts. He jumped first and did about eleven summersaults before opening his parachute. What a guy. What kahunas!
There were other experienced jumpers on the plane, jumping in groups of three to five and doing aerial formations on the way down. What a sight. Poetry in motion…..very fast motion.
Of course, I had something that no one else on the plane had: a disability. I was prepared and the crew was ready for me. It turns out that this particular skydiving location accommodates people with disabilities regularly and they knew just what to do.
They wheeled me out to the plane and instantly lifted me onboard. Their skill, knowledge and confidence made me comfortable and secure. My only question was how would I land? They had an answer for that too.
My legs were strapped together around my knees and ankles. As we descended towards our landing, the ground crew was waiting for me. They were there to make sure that my legs stayed up, in front of me and did not fold underneath me. Smooth and gentle, just as I like it….and expected.
The whole experience was very different than I expected. Years ago I took a flight lesson in a small Cessna four passenger plane. The sense of flying I felt was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was as though I knew just how a bird felt as they soared across the sky.
Since then, I have wanted to try other flying activities like gliding and hang gliding. While I never did either of those, I have gone para-sailing and loved it. It too gave that sense of soaring through the air.
I did not have that feeling at all while skydiving. Even after the parachute opened, we were still moving too quickly to feel as though we were soaring through the air. I did not feel like a bird, but I sure did feel a whole lot else.
You may know or have already guessed that skydiving is not cheap. In fact it is expensive, about $200 per person for a tandem jump. But you can do it for FREE!
There is a new no-profit group called Skydive4free.com and they have affiliated with skydive locations all over the country. All you have to do is raise $500 for your favorite charity and you are good to go. Visit their web site at www.Skydive4free.com and get all the details.
Do good in the world. Raise some money and do the jump. Then cross another item off of your bucket list.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Like most first-time jumpers, I did a tandem jump. This means that I was tied to, strapped to and hooked to an experienced jumper. It also meant that I did not have to worry about opening my parachute. It was done for me.
There was nothing for me to worry about. When I was at the door of the plane readying to jump, there was no time to say “Wait, wait, wait!”, or even think about it. Before I knew it, my ‘travel partner’ and I were out of the plane and free-falling.
Free-falling. Now there is a term. Let me explain what freefalling is like.
Imagine a roller-coaster ride. The ride climbs to the top and then WHOOSH! You are dropping at about 75 to 85 miles per hour and the drop, rarely more than 100 feet, lasts for two to three seconds. Although you are safely strapped in and seated in a metal car, your hands are in the air as you scream with delight; perhaps the longest two or three seconds of your life.
Free-falling is different. Your airplane climbs to 12,500 feet and then you jump. A small chute opens quickly so that you are face down and slowed to 120 miles per hour. You ‘fall’ at that speed for just over a mile, about six thousand feet, and for about 30 seconds. (Want to know how long thirty seconds is? Count it out saying “One thousand and one, one thousand and two”, etc) Also, there is no metal car. Just your own personal cheerleader, riding on your back and encouraging you the whole way down.
Sensory Overload. My arms instinctively spread wide like a bird. The goggles protect your eyes, but my cheeks were flapping in the wind, while my heart raced and my mind went numb! Too much to absorb. Too much to take in all at once.
I looked down and was amazed at how high up in the air I was. As far as I was concerned, I could see for hundreds of miles. The thrill, the excitement and the adrenaline were like nothing I had ever experienced before. I quickly understood why so many make this there sport of choice.
Finally and suddenly the parachute opens. The next seven or eight minutes are spent coasting to earth…..albeit at a much faster speed than I had expected. Most of that time was spent regaining my composure, high-fiving my travel companion and trying to absorb everything I had just gone through.
Jumping with me were my son, Adam and my good friend Randy. It was Adam’s first time too. But it was Randy’s 359th jump and he goes solo. While the rest of us were outfitted with helmets and jumpsuits, Randy wore only a t-shirt and shorts. He jumped first and did about eleven summersaults before opening his parachute. What a guy. What kahunas!
There were other experienced jumpers on the plane, jumping in groups of three to five and doing aerial formations on the way down. What a sight. Poetry in motion…..very fast motion.
Of course, I had something that no one else on the plane had: a disability. I was prepared and the crew was ready for me. It turns out that this particular skydiving location accommodates people with disabilities regularly and they knew just what to do.
They wheeled me out to the plane and instantly lifted me onboard. Their skill, knowledge and confidence made me comfortable and secure. My only question was how would I land? They had an answer for that too.
My legs were strapped together around my knees and ankles. As we descended towards our landing, the ground crew was waiting for me. They were there to make sure that my legs stayed up, in front of me and did not fold underneath me. Smooth and gentle, just as I like it….and expected.
The whole experience was very different than I expected. Years ago I took a flight lesson in a small Cessna four passenger plane. The sense of flying I felt was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was as though I knew just how a bird felt as they soared across the sky.
Since then, I have wanted to try other flying activities like gliding and hang gliding. While I never did either of those, I have gone para-sailing and loved it. It too gave that sense of soaring through the air.
I did not have that feeling at all while skydiving. Even after the parachute opened, we were still moving too quickly to feel as though we were soaring through the air. I did not feel like a bird, but I sure did feel a whole lot else.
You may know or have already guessed that skydiving is not cheap. In fact it is expensive, about $200 per person for a tandem jump. But you can do it for FREE!
There is a new no-profit group called Skydive4free.com and they have affiliated with skydive locations all over the country. All you have to do is raise $500 for your favorite charity and you are good to go. Visit their web site at www.Skydive4free.com and get all the details.
Do good in the world. Raise some money and do the jump. Then cross another item off of your bucket list.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Exclusivity
People with a disability are excluded for one of two reasons. The first reason being that they are actually excluded because of their disability. The other being that they exclude themselves because of their disability. Both may be valid. Both may be wrong.
Two years ago we travelled to Paris, France, truly one of the world’s greatest cities. “C’est magnifique!” I loved it and yet, found it to be a very challenging place to travel to. In a very short time we noticed an absence of people in wheelchairs and soon discovered why. Nothing is accessible. One evening we spent over two hours looking for a bathroom. While we found the people very accommodating, most facilities were not.....which explains why we saw few people in wheelchairs. They are excluded because of physical and structural limitations. (In all fairness to France, the government is quite aware of this problem and is working hard to remedy it.)
People, with or without disabilities, are often excluded because of their own physical limitations. You can’t sit in an exit row of an airplane if you can’t walk. You must be a certain height to ride a rollercoaster. You must weigh under a certain weight to go skydiving. All limitations driven by safety and liability concerns. Very valid. Very reasonable.
Less reasonable or valid are those instances where a person is excluded from participation because it may inconvenience someone else. How much inconvenience should one be expected to endure? Having doorways and aisles that are wide enough for wheelchairs. Putting bars on the wall in bathrooms. Modify a workspace for an employee. That is a personal choice or a subject for our lawmakers to debate. Generally speaking, here in the states there are many laws in place to insure the inclusion and protection of those of us with disabilities.
My bigger concern has to do with the countless instances where a person with a disability has excluded themselves from participating simply because of their disability. We know this happens when we see an absence of, or less than representative participation in activities by those with disabilities. This is true in politics, medicine and business. It is also seen in sporting activities, talent shows and at job fairs. The list goes on and on. Certainly there are exceptions, but it is definitely not the norm…..and it needs to be that.
Much of our world has been made greatly accessible to those of us who have disabilities and yet, we often do not participate. Why? Inconvenience? Embarrassment? Whatever the reason, it may not be good enough.
Not participating means not living life to the fullest. “To the fullest” is different for each one of us. But at the end of our days there is only one question. Did we? Did we visit family and friends? Participate in events and activities for our loved ones and community? Did we do all that we could have done?
Did we go to school or work and make a difference in the world? Did we go skiing, fishing or climb Mount Everest? Did we play sports, travel or go skydiving? Did we go to every concert, presentation or event that we could have and if not, why? The world is filled with people with great physical limitations who do amazing things. The world is also filled with great opportunities for those of us with disabilities.
Those of us with disabilities need to take advantage of what has been made available to us. How can we ask for more or better treatment when we don’t take advantage of what is already there? My personal goal is to increase the visibility of disability. When we do that, or when we have done enough of that, then we can expect our inclusion to be the norm…..even in the most exclusive of settings.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Two years ago we travelled to Paris, France, truly one of the world’s greatest cities. “C’est magnifique!” I loved it and yet, found it to be a very challenging place to travel to. In a very short time we noticed an absence of people in wheelchairs and soon discovered why. Nothing is accessible. One evening we spent over two hours looking for a bathroom. While we found the people very accommodating, most facilities were not.....which explains why we saw few people in wheelchairs. They are excluded because of physical and structural limitations. (In all fairness to France, the government is quite aware of this problem and is working hard to remedy it.)
People, with or without disabilities, are often excluded because of their own physical limitations. You can’t sit in an exit row of an airplane if you can’t walk. You must be a certain height to ride a rollercoaster. You must weigh under a certain weight to go skydiving. All limitations driven by safety and liability concerns. Very valid. Very reasonable.
Less reasonable or valid are those instances where a person is excluded from participation because it may inconvenience someone else. How much inconvenience should one be expected to endure? Having doorways and aisles that are wide enough for wheelchairs. Putting bars on the wall in bathrooms. Modify a workspace for an employee. That is a personal choice or a subject for our lawmakers to debate. Generally speaking, here in the states there are many laws in place to insure the inclusion and protection of those of us with disabilities.
My bigger concern has to do with the countless instances where a person with a disability has excluded themselves from participating simply because of their disability. We know this happens when we see an absence of, or less than representative participation in activities by those with disabilities. This is true in politics, medicine and business. It is also seen in sporting activities, talent shows and at job fairs. The list goes on and on. Certainly there are exceptions, but it is definitely not the norm…..and it needs to be that.
Much of our world has been made greatly accessible to those of us who have disabilities and yet, we often do not participate. Why? Inconvenience? Embarrassment? Whatever the reason, it may not be good enough.
Not participating means not living life to the fullest. “To the fullest” is different for each one of us. But at the end of our days there is only one question. Did we? Did we visit family and friends? Participate in events and activities for our loved ones and community? Did we do all that we could have done?
Did we go to school or work and make a difference in the world? Did we go skiing, fishing or climb Mount Everest? Did we play sports, travel or go skydiving? Did we go to every concert, presentation or event that we could have and if not, why? The world is filled with people with great physical limitations who do amazing things. The world is also filled with great opportunities for those of us with disabilities.
Those of us with disabilities need to take advantage of what has been made available to us. How can we ask for more or better treatment when we don’t take advantage of what is already there? My personal goal is to increase the visibility of disability. When we do that, or when we have done enough of that, then we can expect our inclusion to be the norm…..even in the most exclusive of settings.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Are we having fun yet?
The real question is, if we are not having fun, why not? Fun is a choice, a perspective and an attitude towards life. So if you are not having fun, it may be time to ask yourself why not?
Life’s challenges and circumstances provide all the fodder any of us need to have fun. Being able to laugh (especially at ourselves) and have fun make having to deal with our challenges all the more do-able and bearable.
In our house we like to play a game that I call “Fun With Hearing Loss.” My hearing is just not as good as it used to be and there is no telling what I am going to hear. In fact, what I hear sometimes is pretty funny stuff. Our MS Walk Team is called the “JiggyWiggits” and the name comes from my constantly singing the WRONG lyrics to a song a like. Can you guess the song?
When I am out and about in my wheelchair, especially at hospitals or airports, I have made a habit out of pulling my chair up next to someone “older” than me that is also in a wheelchair and asking “Are you here for the races?” The response is almost always the same. First they are startled by the question and then they laugh. The wheelchair allows me to spread a little good cheer that I could not have done otherwise.
My doctor never knows what to expect from me. Not long ago he wanted to check my coordination. He sat in front of me on his little round stool (doesn’t it seem like every doctor has one of these?) with his hands on his knees and said “Go like this”, He then flipped his hands over repeatedly and quickly. So I did exactly as he did. I reached over, put my hands on his knees and began flipping them back and forth. The look on his face was priceless. I am sure that no patient had ever done that before. A memory I am not soon to forget, all because I was willing to have fun.
I am not the only one who thinks that having fun is a good idea. Even Listerene has gotten into the act and created a mouthwash for children. Where there is plaque on the children’s teeth, the teeth turn blue (Only temporarily! It’s easy to rinse.) The blue encourages kids to do a better job of brushing and that can’t be a bad thing.
The fact is that having fun and making things fun can and does make the world a better place. It makes people laugh, brings smiles to faces and can break up the monotony or tensions of an otherwise mundane activities or ordinary day.
Recently I received an e-mail which directed me to a website hosted by Volkswagon at www.thefuntheory.com. On the site it reads “This site is dedicated to the thought that something as simple as fun is the easiest way to change people’s behaviour for the better. “ Wow! What a concept! I was blown away by that idea.
Spend a few minutes on the website and you will discover some of the fun ideas they have implemented to get people to take the stairs instead of escalators, throw away trash and recycle. It is brilliant clever and wonderful.
What is also wonderful is that they are looking for more ideas and having a contest and the entry deadline is December 15th. Do you have an idea that could change people’s behavior and make the world a better place? If you do, I hope you will take the time to visit the website, enter the contest and help us all to have more fun.
Hmmm……..Having fun when and where it is not expected? Changing people’s behavior for the better? That sounds like a choice we could all make.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Life’s challenges and circumstances provide all the fodder any of us need to have fun. Being able to laugh (especially at ourselves) and have fun make having to deal with our challenges all the more do-able and bearable.
In our house we like to play a game that I call “Fun With Hearing Loss.” My hearing is just not as good as it used to be and there is no telling what I am going to hear. In fact, what I hear sometimes is pretty funny stuff. Our MS Walk Team is called the “JiggyWiggits” and the name comes from my constantly singing the WRONG lyrics to a song a like. Can you guess the song?
When I am out and about in my wheelchair, especially at hospitals or airports, I have made a habit out of pulling my chair up next to someone “older” than me that is also in a wheelchair and asking “Are you here for the races?” The response is almost always the same. First they are startled by the question and then they laugh. The wheelchair allows me to spread a little good cheer that I could not have done otherwise.
My doctor never knows what to expect from me. Not long ago he wanted to check my coordination. He sat in front of me on his little round stool (doesn’t it seem like every doctor has one of these?) with his hands on his knees and said “Go like this”, He then flipped his hands over repeatedly and quickly. So I did exactly as he did. I reached over, put my hands on his knees and began flipping them back and forth. The look on his face was priceless. I am sure that no patient had ever done that before. A memory I am not soon to forget, all because I was willing to have fun.
I am not the only one who thinks that having fun is a good idea. Even Listerene has gotten into the act and created a mouthwash for children. Where there is plaque on the children’s teeth, the teeth turn blue (Only temporarily! It’s easy to rinse.) The blue encourages kids to do a better job of brushing and that can’t be a bad thing.
The fact is that having fun and making things fun can and does make the world a better place. It makes people laugh, brings smiles to faces and can break up the monotony or tensions of an otherwise mundane activities or ordinary day.
Recently I received an e-mail which directed me to a website hosted by Volkswagon at www.thefuntheory.com. On the site it reads “This site is dedicated to the thought that something as simple as fun is the easiest way to change people’s behaviour for the better. “ Wow! What a concept! I was blown away by that idea.
Spend a few minutes on the website and you will discover some of the fun ideas they have implemented to get people to take the stairs instead of escalators, throw away trash and recycle. It is brilliant clever and wonderful.
What is also wonderful is that they are looking for more ideas and having a contest and the entry deadline is December 15th. Do you have an idea that could change people’s behavior and make the world a better place? If you do, I hope you will take the time to visit the website, enter the contest and help us all to have more fun.
Hmmm……..Having fun when and where it is not expected? Changing people’s behavior for the better? That sounds like a choice we could all make.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Lesser of Two Evils
This blog was written with the help and editing skills of my good friend, Vicki Bridges.
Life does not always give us perfect choices. If it did, decision making would be easy. All too often the decision to choose one thing means choosing to not have something else. And then, of course, there is the risk involved with any decision, even the ones that seem good for us.
For instance, have you ever watched and listened to a television commercial for a pharmaceutical drug? They are funny and scary at the same time. If you listen to the lightning speed disclaimer at the end, you have to ask yourself "Why would anybody want to take this?"
"May cause nausea, vomiting or dizziness."
"May cause liver or kidney failure."
"May cause stroke or heart attack."
"People who are pregnant, smoke, breathe, have a pulse or who want to live should not take this drug!"
The fact is that virtually every medicine we take to combat a disease or condition has a side effect. The question is, how do we decide? Some decisions are easier than others. Sometimes it comes down to choosing the lesser of two evils.
Recently I had to make one of these decisions. I have multiple sclerosis which is a currently incurable disease that effects the central nervous system, but some of the many symptoms can be managed or eliminated. One of my symptoms can best be described as electrical shock activity in the body, sometimes annoying and sometimes downright painful.
My doctor suggested I try Trileptal to reduce the neuropathic pain and it worked. The problem was it also gave me a side effect: fevers.
Fevers? That doesn't sound so bad. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. But this is MS and it is not that easy.
Many of us with MS are sensitive to heat and this includes fevers. Though the pain went away, my energy was sapped away by the fevers and I could barely move, barely walk (with a walker) or even get out of bed. For me, that was an easy decision to make. I could readily live with the MS evil of recurring pains better than I could with the side effect of constant, extreme weakness. But not all decisions are so easy.
In the MS world, there is a newer disease-modifying "miracle drug" called Tysabri. It has improved function and quality of life for tens of thousands of people with MS. But it does have many side effects including: severe brain damage (PML), liver damage, and death. The side effect (called PML) has only affected about 23 people out of more than 40,000 who are currently using this treatment. Technically, I suppose that there is a very low risk of being "adversely affected," but I could be number 24. So for me, that side effect is too great a risk to take.
How do we make the difficult decisions about which drugs or treatments to take?
Below are my considerations when making these decisions. It is not an all inclusive list, but if it helps anyone, I am glad that I wrote it.
Have a doctor you trust.
Talk to your doctor and insist that he/she explains things so that you understand.
Are the side effects worse than the condition?
What is the benefit to be realized?
What is the risk and are you willing to accept that?
What is the risk of not taking the drug?
I would love to hear about your experiences and suggestions too. Perhaps together we can develop an all inclusive list.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Life does not always give us perfect choices. If it did, decision making would be easy. All too often the decision to choose one thing means choosing to not have something else. And then, of course, there is the risk involved with any decision, even the ones that seem good for us.
For instance, have you ever watched and listened to a television commercial for a pharmaceutical drug? They are funny and scary at the same time. If you listen to the lightning speed disclaimer at the end, you have to ask yourself "Why would anybody want to take this?"
"May cause nausea, vomiting or dizziness."
"May cause liver or kidney failure."
"May cause stroke or heart attack."
"People who are pregnant, smoke, breathe, have a pulse or who want to live should not take this drug!"
The fact is that virtually every medicine we take to combat a disease or condition has a side effect. The question is, how do we decide? Some decisions are easier than others. Sometimes it comes down to choosing the lesser of two evils.
Recently I had to make one of these decisions. I have multiple sclerosis which is a currently incurable disease that effects the central nervous system, but some of the many symptoms can be managed or eliminated. One of my symptoms can best be described as electrical shock activity in the body, sometimes annoying and sometimes downright painful.
My doctor suggested I try Trileptal to reduce the neuropathic pain and it worked. The problem was it also gave me a side effect: fevers.
Fevers? That doesn't sound so bad. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. But this is MS and it is not that easy.
Many of us with MS are sensitive to heat and this includes fevers. Though the pain went away, my energy was sapped away by the fevers and I could barely move, barely walk (with a walker) or even get out of bed. For me, that was an easy decision to make. I could readily live with the MS evil of recurring pains better than I could with the side effect of constant, extreme weakness. But not all decisions are so easy.
In the MS world, there is a newer disease-modifying "miracle drug" called Tysabri. It has improved function and quality of life for tens of thousands of people with MS. But it does have many side effects including: severe brain damage (PML), liver damage, and death. The side effect (called PML) has only affected about 23 people out of more than 40,000 who are currently using this treatment. Technically, I suppose that there is a very low risk of being "adversely affected," but I could be number 24. So for me, that side effect is too great a risk to take.
How do we make the difficult decisions about which drugs or treatments to take?
Below are my considerations when making these decisions. It is not an all inclusive list, but if it helps anyone, I am glad that I wrote it.
Have a doctor you trust.
Talk to your doctor and insist that he/she explains things so that you understand.
Are the side effects worse than the condition?
What is the benefit to be realized?
What is the risk and are you willing to accept that?
What is the risk of not taking the drug?
I would love to hear about your experiences and suggestions too. Perhaps together we can develop an all inclusive list.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Kind of matters.
Have you ever tried changing lanes on the LA freeway system? Fought for a parking space at Costco on a weekend day? Waited in line only to have someone jump in front of you and had to say “Excuse, but I think I was next???” If you have, and have had those experiences repeatedly as I have, then you will understand why I say that I never expected our world to be a particularly kind place. Each man for himself. Survival of the fittest. Dog eat dog and so on.
It turns out that I was wrong. Our world is filled with kind people. I know this because I am the beneficiary of random acts of kindness from complete strangers almost every day of my life. Living with a disability has taught me that.
My disability has progressed as my disease has. In time I needed a cane, then a walker and now use a wheelchair from time to time. As my disability became more visible to the outside world, I began experiencing more and more of these acts of kindness.
I used to travel for work and often someone, a complete stranger, would see my awkwardness, grab my bags and help me get on or off a shuttle to or from the airport. One day I was getting in my car and dropped something as I was fumbling with my keys. A stranger driving down the street pulled over, jumped out of his car and handed me the dropped items. Random acts of kindness from complete strangers. WOW!
These repeated experiences have completely changed my view. The world is filled with kind people who are willing and ready to help a stranger. Random acts of kindness are much more common than I ever dreamed of and as the beneficiary, I make it a point to acknowledge and thank these people from the bottom of my heart.
But kindness is often more than performing a simple task or favor. Kindness reveals itself in many different ways. It may be in the form of an anonymous donation to a cause or simply picking up an item at a store for someone because it may be wanted or needed.
Kindness can be the act of just listening to a loved one or a complete stranger who just needs to be heard or get something off their chest. It could be as simple as saying “hello” and “how are you” to someone who rarely gets asked at their job or work, like a cashier or bank teller or someone working behind the counter at a fast food franchise.
Kindness reveals itself in a thousand different ways. But it always is a selfless act that for at least a moment, makes someone else’s life better. I know. Acts of kindness continue to fill every day of my life.
I have learned to expect the best from people and am rarely ever disappointed. There are times when I need help and today I am confident that I always can and will always find it. It turns out that the human race is a pretty good one to be a part of. My faith is restored. Kind people are kind people and there are plenty of them.
That has been my experience. What is your experience? Is the world a kind place? Or is it cruel? Do people really care about their fellow man? I would love to know about your experiences.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
It turns out that I was wrong. Our world is filled with kind people. I know this because I am the beneficiary of random acts of kindness from complete strangers almost every day of my life. Living with a disability has taught me that.
My disability has progressed as my disease has. In time I needed a cane, then a walker and now use a wheelchair from time to time. As my disability became more visible to the outside world, I began experiencing more and more of these acts of kindness.
I used to travel for work and often someone, a complete stranger, would see my awkwardness, grab my bags and help me get on or off a shuttle to or from the airport. One day I was getting in my car and dropped something as I was fumbling with my keys. A stranger driving down the street pulled over, jumped out of his car and handed me the dropped items. Random acts of kindness from complete strangers. WOW!
These repeated experiences have completely changed my view. The world is filled with kind people who are willing and ready to help a stranger. Random acts of kindness are much more common than I ever dreamed of and as the beneficiary, I make it a point to acknowledge and thank these people from the bottom of my heart.
But kindness is often more than performing a simple task or favor. Kindness reveals itself in many different ways. It may be in the form of an anonymous donation to a cause or simply picking up an item at a store for someone because it may be wanted or needed.
Kindness can be the act of just listening to a loved one or a complete stranger who just needs to be heard or get something off their chest. It could be as simple as saying “hello” and “how are you” to someone who rarely gets asked at their job or work, like a cashier or bank teller or someone working behind the counter at a fast food franchise.
Kindness reveals itself in a thousand different ways. But it always is a selfless act that for at least a moment, makes someone else’s life better. I know. Acts of kindness continue to fill every day of my life.
I have learned to expect the best from people and am rarely ever disappointed. There are times when I need help and today I am confident that I always can and will always find it. It turns out that the human race is a pretty good one to be a part of. My faith is restored. Kind people are kind people and there are plenty of them.
That has been my experience. What is your experience? Is the world a kind place? Or is it cruel? Do people really care about their fellow man? I would love to know about your experiences.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Denial: A Basic Survival Skill
A friend of mine who is a psychologist, told me that I am suffering from “Chronic Euphoria”. She says I am far too happy for my circumstances and teases me about being in denial. The truth is that she is right. I am in denial. In fact, it may be our most important survival skill.
We all live with varying degrees of denial. If we didn’t, we would never leave the house. Fatal car accidents occur every day. But not to me. Houses and buildings burn down every day. But not where I am. I live in Los Angeles and someday there will be a catastrophic earthquake. But it won’t hit my house. A certain amount of denial is required for us to be able to function in this modern world of ours. I consider this a ‘healthy level of denial’.
What is an unhealthy level of denial? Denying what already exists. My psychologist friend is worried that I may be in denial about how my disease/disability affects others around me. I don’t think so. In fact, I think I am particularly sensitive about how my disease affects others, especially my wife who is my primary caregiver. In many ways this disease (multiple sclerosis, for those who don’t know) is harder on her than it is on me. I am aware of that. No denial here.
Unhealthy denial may also occur when we deny that we have control or influence over circumstances in our lives. Or, at a minimum, controlling how we respond to those circumstances, events relationships, etc.
Healthy denial may be denying a possible adverse outcome. Denying a possible adverse outcome is also how many of us function every day. Car accidents, burning building and earthquakes occur almost daily, sometimes more often. If we really thought that these events would hurt or kill us, we would run and hide. We, or at least most of us, live our lives with an expectation that “bad things” won’t happen to us. While it is true that bad things happen all the time, we don’t expect them to happen to us.
I do know people that always expect the worst. To me, denying possible positive outcomes may be the UN-healthiest form of denial.
I live with a chronic disease and there is a great possibility that my condition may worsen. I know that and don’t deny it. But I live my life in anticipation of good things, accomplishing physical goals and expecting new treatments to improve my quality of life. To me, that is healthy denial and that is okay with me.
According to my psychologist friend, there is no such thing as “healthy denial.” Instead, she says that these are coping skills and being able to cope with the realities of life is good….and healthy. She is probably right.
Call it healthy denial, coping skills or whatever you like. Being able to accept reality is always healthy. There is no denying it.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
We all live with varying degrees of denial. If we didn’t, we would never leave the house. Fatal car accidents occur every day. But not to me. Houses and buildings burn down every day. But not where I am. I live in Los Angeles and someday there will be a catastrophic earthquake. But it won’t hit my house. A certain amount of denial is required for us to be able to function in this modern world of ours. I consider this a ‘healthy level of denial’.
What is an unhealthy level of denial? Denying what already exists. My psychologist friend is worried that I may be in denial about how my disease/disability affects others around me. I don’t think so. In fact, I think I am particularly sensitive about how my disease affects others, especially my wife who is my primary caregiver. In many ways this disease (multiple sclerosis, for those who don’t know) is harder on her than it is on me. I am aware of that. No denial here.
Unhealthy denial may also occur when we deny that we have control or influence over circumstances in our lives. Or, at a minimum, controlling how we respond to those circumstances, events relationships, etc.
Healthy denial may be denying a possible adverse outcome. Denying a possible adverse outcome is also how many of us function every day. Car accidents, burning building and earthquakes occur almost daily, sometimes more often. If we really thought that these events would hurt or kill us, we would run and hide. We, or at least most of us, live our lives with an expectation that “bad things” won’t happen to us. While it is true that bad things happen all the time, we don’t expect them to happen to us.
I do know people that always expect the worst. To me, denying possible positive outcomes may be the UN-healthiest form of denial.
I live with a chronic disease and there is a great possibility that my condition may worsen. I know that and don’t deny it. But I live my life in anticipation of good things, accomplishing physical goals and expecting new treatments to improve my quality of life. To me, that is healthy denial and that is okay with me.
According to my psychologist friend, there is no such thing as “healthy denial.” Instead, she says that these are coping skills and being able to cope with the realities of life is good….and healthy. She is probably right.
Call it healthy denial, coping skills or whatever you like. Being able to accept reality is always healthy. There is no denying it.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The Family Treasure
Michael Josephson of Character Counts is one of my favorite commentators. He recently published this story and I wanted to share it with all my friends. It is about choice.
“A 6-year-old girl I’ll call Sarah knocked over a display case that contained a much-cherished vase once owned by her great-grandmother. Her mom loved that vase and frequently referred to it as the family treasure. The vase hit the floor with a loud crash and shattered into pieces. Sarah, shocked and frightened at what she’d done, screamed and began sobbing.
Her mom came running into the room fearing the worst. Seeing the shattered vase, her heart sank. Then she saw Sarah sitting on the floor wailing. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry, Mommy. I broke the family treasure!”
Seeing despair on her daughter’s face, the mother’s heart plunged further.
Faced with two powerful and conflicting instincts – one toward anger and blame, the other toward compassion and forgiveness, she sat next to Sarah, pulled her on her lap, and kissed her tears. “Sweetheart, when I ran in here, I was terrified that something bad had happened to our family’s most precious treasure. But thank God, you’re okay. Sarah, you are the family treasure.”
Sarah’s mom turned what could have been a painful incident and a lifelong source of guilt into an enduring source of affirmation and worthiness.
I wonder if I would have had the presence of mind to realize in the instant after an upsetting event that I could choose my reaction and that my choice would have a permanent impact on someone I love.
The reaction of Sarah’s mom was nothing short of heroic and stands as a reminder that, even in the face of powerful emotions, we do have choices – and they really matter.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
This is my variation of a parable told by Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben, which in turn was derived from a true incident from one of his congregants.”
You can subscribe to his weekly newsletter at www.charactercounts.org/michael
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
“A 6-year-old girl I’ll call Sarah knocked over a display case that contained a much-cherished vase once owned by her great-grandmother. Her mom loved that vase and frequently referred to it as the family treasure. The vase hit the floor with a loud crash and shattered into pieces. Sarah, shocked and frightened at what she’d done, screamed and began sobbing.
Her mom came running into the room fearing the worst. Seeing the shattered vase, her heart sank. Then she saw Sarah sitting on the floor wailing. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry, Mommy. I broke the family treasure!”
Seeing despair on her daughter’s face, the mother’s heart plunged further.
Faced with two powerful and conflicting instincts – one toward anger and blame, the other toward compassion and forgiveness, she sat next to Sarah, pulled her on her lap, and kissed her tears. “Sweetheart, when I ran in here, I was terrified that something bad had happened to our family’s most precious treasure. But thank God, you’re okay. Sarah, you are the family treasure.”
Sarah’s mom turned what could have been a painful incident and a lifelong source of guilt into an enduring source of affirmation and worthiness.
I wonder if I would have had the presence of mind to realize in the instant after an upsetting event that I could choose my reaction and that my choice would have a permanent impact on someone I love.
The reaction of Sarah’s mom was nothing short of heroic and stands as a reminder that, even in the face of powerful emotions, we do have choices – and they really matter.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
This is my variation of a parable told by Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben, which in turn was derived from a true incident from one of his congregants.”
You can subscribe to his weekly newsletter at www.charactercounts.org/michael
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.
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