One of the best weekends ever.

 Almost two weeks ago I told you about our pending trip to Dallas. Now we are back and all that I can say is that my experience was much greater than anything I ever could have imagined. The event, the National MS Society's Annual Leadership Conference, started on Thursday and ended on Saturday and in between were general sessions, breakout sessions, gala dinners, entertainment and more than 500 of the nicest, kindest and most caring people that you could ever meet.

Then it occurred to me. “Of course they are nice. After all, this is a cause.” The people who work for the MS Society are a kind and caring bunch, otherwise they would not work there. The people who volunteer and contribute at this level are kind and caring, otherwise they wouldn't be there.  To be immersed, among and gathered with all of these people was an absolute joy. It was a great thrill for me and a weekend that was filled with  praIses and accolades. I do not know if that is because of the job that I did or because they are so darn nice. Either way, it sure felt good.

 There were X Games Gold Medal winners, Clay Walker, David Osmond and a very talented 10-year-old girl who brought the house down when she sang “the Climb”. There were astronomical fundraisers who have raised millions of dollars for the society, activists who have helped make great changes in how Medicare treats those of us living with MS. There were students who were scholarship winners, researchers and clinicians. Barbecues, cocktails and a video being shot that had everybody singing and dancing.

 In other words, it was fun, moving, informative and inspiring. It was everything that you could hope for at an event like this. It was without a doubt one of the best experiences of my life. My only hope is that someday all of you have the opportunity to attend an MS Leadership Conference.

 Who knows? Maybe next year we can all meet up in Denver at the next conference.

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To me it is a very big deal!

I feel like I've told lots of people about this. Yet, almost every day I realize that I've left somebody out and the fact is that I want everybody to know.

 In mid-August I was contacted by the National MS Society. Not the local chapter where we normally direct a lot of our time and attention, but the Big One, the Parent, the Behemoth, the “national” National MS Society asking me if I would co-emcee their National Leadership Conference to be held in Dallas next week. Me?  They were asking me? There are a lot of Michael Gerbers in the world. Did they really mean me? They did and there have been very few times in my life where I have felt so honored and excited to be asked to participate in something. This was one of those times.

 As the song says "Our bags are packed. We're ready to go.” We are actually leaving a few days early to visit a very close friend in Austin, which we are also excited about. In fact, it will be a reunion for four us who have known each other for more than 35 years and who live in different cities across the country. Then it is off to Dallas for the really big show. An opportunity for us to meet and greet the real movers and shakers behind the MS Society. Individuals who have raised more than $1,000,000, companies that have raised millions of dollars, researchers who are at the forefront of the progress being made to lead us to a cure and the management and staff of the Society that make it all happen. 

 “The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.” Our journey is thousands of miles (round trip, that is) and begins with an airplane ride. I promise to share some of the details when I return. Until then, I trust that your good wishes are with me as mine are with you every single day.

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Happy Birthday Mom.

If mom were still with us she would be 77 years old today. She died almost 9 years ago and she certainly left her mark on our family. In fact, I can tell you that not a single day goes by where she is not thought of, talked about or considered. “Mom would loved that movie.” “Mom would have loved Abby.” (Our son's new wife) “Mom would have been so proud.”

 I think that we can all agree that one way people live forever is by living in the hearts and minds of those who knew them, those who  were or are affected by them. My mom knew a lot of people and had a great impact on  many of them. Few people go as far out of their way to make life better for the ones they love then my mother did. She loved and she showed it, espeecially if you were on her  "A  list" is him and him and him. Whether you wanted it or not, if she thought that you needed it, you were going to get it. It could be a pair of shoes or a dining room table.

 From time to time we would get a call  from her in the morning telling us to look out the front door because she had left a package for us. She had driven an hour to bring us something only to turn around and drive home without any notice and without coming in to say hello. Really? Really? She didn't want to bother us or interrupt our busy schedules. At times she could be very frustrating, but she was always, always, always thinking of and doing for others.

 Regularly she would load up her car with a handful of senior citizens to take them to Knott's Berry Farm for a fried chicken dinner. She had no particular relationship with these people other than she thought that it would be nice for them to do. Other times she would be in public and if she spotted what seemed to be someone accompanying an elderly parent, she would become fixated on them and find a reason to go and talk with them. They were always so impressed by this “nice woman” who had approached them. Knowing my mother, she was looking to see if there was something that she could do for them.

 What a unique and special woman she was.

 My mom passed away almost 9 years ago and yet she is very much alive and well in our hearts and minds. That is why we celebrate her birthday. That is why we celebrate her everyday.

 Happy birthday Mom.

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“Staying married is its own reward”

That phrase, “staying married is its own reward” was told to me almost 26 years ago.   I think that until someone has been married for 15 or 20 years, they cannot fully understand how meaningful and true that statement is. It is for me and I should know. Today is my 32nd wedding anniversary.

 There is an intimacy that comes with the knowledge and comfort of another person that comes with time. You know how they think, feel and breathe. You can hand them things before they ask, or know what is needed before they do. You can finish sentences for each other, help remember names, watch their diets, remind them to make calls, and let it be okay if they fall asleep watching TV. You might have disagreements, but then you go on.  They may be less than perfect (not me, but other people) and that is okay, it is part of who they are. That is how it is for us.

 There is a tremendous feeling that comes with just knowing that they are there.  They could be in the next room or laying next to you in bed, but the certainty that they are there is more than comforting. It is an assurance that all is right in the world. That is how it is for us.

Ask couples who have been married for quite a while what it takes to succeed and you will get a lot of different answers. “Don't go to bed angry.” “Always show respect to one another.” “Laugh at his jokes even if you have heard them 100 times.” I have an answer that I believe trumps all of that and I can tell it to you in a single word: gratitude….at least that is how it is for us.

Gratitude is the key to happiness in all areas of life and relationships are no different.  Gratitude must be felt and expressed, it must be shared or it is of no use. It must be genuine and never forgotten. At least that is how it is for us.

On the day we were married we were so grateful to have found one another. What we did not know then is that the expression of gratitude must be done regularly or it will be forgotten. Once forgotten, a partner can be taken for granted and when that happens there can be troubles in the relationship.

Today our relationship is better and stronger than ever. Why is that? Because we have learned about gratitude, feel grateful and constantly express our gratitude to one another.

Today I am very grateful. Grateful to have found someone to share my life with. Grateful to have found someone to build a life with. Grateful to have a partner that is loving, kind, affectionate and so much more.

Happy anniversary, Gail. I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.

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What I stand for. What we walk for.

I have not stood or walked for more than 18 months.  

What you may not know is that I will stand and walk again soon. No kidding. I have found what may be the world's greatest physical therapist. I have worked with more than a dozen therapists in the past few years, but they pale in comparison to Emily. She is extraordinary, extremely knowledgeable (bordering on being a nerd) and also has an incredible spirit, always positive, very encouraging and is someone that I look forward to seeing several times a week.

Fortunately for me I am in a position where I can commit to seeing her 4 days a week. No, my insurance does not pay for it. It might pay for much of it if she took Medicare, but she does not. She used to, but the paperwork became so burdensome that she had to drop it. Private insurance will typically pay for about 18 visits per year. When going 4 times a week, the 18 visits get absorbed very quickly. So I pay for it. It is expensive for us and we do it anyway. She does give me a great discount, much less than Medicare would pay her, and I am very grateful for that.

The bottom line is this: I will stand and walk again.

Not everyone with MS who has lost these abilities can say that. I can. I am living proof that the right physical therapist and a whole lot of determination works.

 When we started therapy, she carefully examined my legs and determined that my muscles were very small and very weak. But I still had muscle, enough to build on and that is what we have been doing for the past several months. My leg strength has improved dramatically, I am able to straighten my leg more than I have been able to do for the past few years and my core continues to become stronger with every passing week. Now we are at a point where I am standing. It is not pretty, but it is beautiful. Click on the video below and see for yourself.

The amount of work involved to recover those abilities is great. My therapist, has a rule of thumb. The time required to regain those abilities,  may be equal to the amount of time spent in the wheelchair. Based on her rule of thumb, I have 10 more months to go. Baloney! I am determined to do it sooner and prove to the world and myself that it can be done.

Proving this, exercising my influence over this disease, is what I am determined to do. It is what I stand for.

The good news is that I do not stand alone. We have one of the largest teams at the Greater LA Walk MS event which takes place Sunday, April 15^th. Last year nearly 10,000 people showed up for the Walk and it was something very special to be a part of. Nearly 100 people showed up to walk with us on our team, the JiggyWiggits Some of our friends walk, some give money, some do both. What they all do is participate and that makes all the difference in the world to us.

This will be our 6th year of participating in the MS Walk. What I have learned is that everybody I know wants to do something to help and often they do not know what they can do. The MS Walk gives everyone something to do that makes a difference. There are about 600 MS Walk events that take place from coast to coast. In other words, there is a Walk taking place near everyone you know.

These MS Walks raise millions and millions of dollars for the National MS Society that are used to support research, programs and services for people living with MS. This is this money that will lead us to a cure and better treatments.

This is the money needed so that no one will ever have to learn to walk again. This is what we walk for.

Please join us and support the JiggyWiggits. Visit our website and join our team. Come and be a part of something special or support us with your generosity. It can and will make a difference.

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New Year's resolution: Meet Michael J. Fox

Michael J. Fox is one of my heroes. This is not because he is famous or one of the world’s great actors, although he is very good. It is because he uses the power of his celebrity to do good in the world. He also maintains an extraordinary attitude while living with a chronic disease.

A few years ago he wrote a book: "Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist”. What a great book. It is about his life and more importantly about living a happy, productive and full life in spite of living with a chronic illness: Parkinson's disease.

I wrote him a letter and received a form letter in return. Silly me. He probably receives hundreds of letters every day from his fans and my letter was just like all the rest, but not to me! In it I explained that while he may be suffering from "Incurable Optimism", I was living with a condition that is far worse. You see, I have "Chronic Euphoria”. The doctors have told me that I am far too happy for my circumstances and that there is no treatment.

That is what my letter to Michael J. Fox was about.  Not your typical fan mail. I would love for him to read it and, if the opportunity is made available, would love to meet him. I am hoping that somehow, someway we can get this letter to him. So I am asking for your help. If you happen to know that "McFly" guy, or knows someone who does, would you please pass my letter on to him? The letter is posted below.

LESSON: If you don't ask, you don't get.

I will let you know what happens….and thank you.

Dear Michael;

While you may be suffering from Incurable Optimism, I live with Chronic Euphoria. The doctors have told me that I am far too happy for my circumstances and there is nothing they can do.

                                     

My condition is a challenge for me. I have to wake up happy everyday and am not able to see my world as a glass that is half-full. Instead my glass is always over-flowing. I have more blessings than I can begin to count and have had to hire a new accountant to help me do that.

Next week I am seeing a cardiologist because my heart is always full. Then, I am going to the ophthalmologist because I seem to be having a problem with my perspective.

Clearly, my condition is much worse than yours……..don’t you think?

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. When I heard about your upcoming show, immediately I wanted to write to you and say “Me too”. Like you, I live with a disease, multiple sclerosis, that has greatly affected my physical abilities. Yet living with a disability has taught me about gratitude, much more than I ever could have learned in a life without incident. Again like you, these past several years have been some of the happiest years of my life.

We are not alone. I have found many people, often severely impaired by their disability, who have discovered the key to waking up happy every day of their life: GRATITUDE. That is my theory and philosophy. I imagine that yours is similar.

I also have a confession to make. You are one of my heroes. I say that because you have and continue to use the power of celebrity to do good in the world.  You are a visible representation to the world of what it means to be alive, functioning and living with a disability. My goals is to increase the visibility of disability. You do that today.

I am not in the entertainment business, but have met a number of celebrities over the years. Truthfully, I am not impressed by someone because of their status. But, rather who they are as a person, who they are in the world. You, sir, are someone who impresses me. If the opportunity was made available, I would be thrilled and honored to meet you.

With warmest regards and my very best wishes,

Michael B. Gerber

Cell (213) 804-1249

michaelbgerber@gmail.com

www.mgerber.blogspot.com – “Perspective Is Everything”

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Old Stories

Age is different than it used to be. When I was a kid and my grandfather was 65 years old, he was a little old man. Back then many companies had mandatory retirement at age 65. Today people in their 60’s are an active, vital part of the workforce. It was rare that you met someone who was in their 80's and today it is a common occurrence. More and more I meet people in their 90's and I love it. Especially when these "mature” members of our community are still active and vital and ALERT!

Over the years I have gathered a few stories about these “Super Seniors”. This blog is written to share a few of these stories with you.

Meet Uncle Sam and Uncle Larry

Uncle Sam and Uncle Larry were identical twins, always have been and as far as I know, always will be. Sam lived to be 94 years old. When he passed the doctor said that Harry will probably pass within 30 days and he did. This is not uncommon for identical twins. It is also great that they both lived so long.

The story about Uncle Sam

Uncle Sam was a happy man. Most days were started with a couple of Bloody Mary's followed by a visit to the putting green right outside his door. He was happy for several reasons. One is that his hearing was not so good. I often say that he was happy because he hadn't heard anything that anybody said for 20 years. (Maybe we could learn from that!) Everyone knew that he had a hearing aid because we could all hear the ringing noise that it made. That is, everyone could hear it, but Uncle Sam.

After my great, wonderful and beautiful Aunt Elaine, Sam's wife of many years, passed away he got a much younger girlfriend who was only in her 70's.

The story is that one morning Sam's grandson's wife called to check on him and the conversation went like this.

" Grandpa Sam, it's Jenny"

" Who Is it?"

" it's Jenny. Steve's wife, Jenny.”

" I can’t hear you and don't know who this is, but I can't talk right now. I have just taken a Viagra and my girlfriends coming over." CLICK

There goes a happy 94-year-old man.

The story about Uncle Larry

One day I was out with my family and we ran into Uncle Larry at a deli close to where he lived. We had just a short conversation and he said one of the greatest things I have ever heard.

"Uncle Larry, how are you feeling?”

"The closer I get to 100, the worse I feel."

If that is not the good news and the bad news all rolled into one, then I don't know what is. 

My friend's aunt

My best friend's aunt passed away recently at the age of 91. Her mother had passed 14 years earlier at the age of 100. 

The story is that when the aunt was only 77 years old and her mother was 100 years old, she was visiting and talking to her mother and at one point her mother interrupted and said this:

"What are you complaining about? You have got your whole life ahead of you!”

That is something that most 77-year-olds don't hear from their mothers.

The Old Testament and my 93 year old grandmother.

The Old Testament tells us that we are to live to be 120 years old. It is common among Jewish people that on birthdays our birthday wish is "you should live to be 120".

My grandmother lived to be 93 years old and her mind was sharp and quick up to the very end…. except for one thing. She could not remember the punchline to this one story……

Molly Picon, a well-known actress within the Yiddish theater (she also played Yente, the Matchmaker in Fiddler On The Roof) would always greet people the same way on their birthday by saying “you should live to be 121.”

Someone asked “Molly, most people say that you should live to be 120. Why do you say 121?”

She replied saying “So you shouldn't die suddenly.”

May we all lead long and healthy lives. May we all live to be 121!

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30,000 Hits and No Bruises!

Today is the day. Today my hit counter says that my blog has been visited 30,000 times.  Actually, the last time that I looked it was 30,154. When I started this, I never dreamed that so many people would read and comment about it as well. My views, my thoughts, my opinions all seem to have resonated or touched many people who read my blog . Wow!

It is quite a pat on the back, or at least a confirmation that my views are valid. It tells me that what I have to say means something and not just to me but to you as well and that is why I write. I have always felt as though I have been blessed with a good attitude and perspective about life. Your visits to my blog tell me that I am right and encourage me to keep going. I have not always been consistent in my writing. Earlier this year I went almost 3 months without any new entries. Now I am back on track, motivated by your visits, support and comments.

I know that there are other blogs out there that get 30,000 visits a month, maybe a week or more. That's not me. My blog is not a business. It is an outlet for me when I have something to say. Truthfully I have a lot to say and just don't always make the time or discipline to sit down and write it. That may be a good thing for all of us. 

I do have a new favorite blog and it is doing quite well and rightfully so. It is called "Phoebes Stupid Cancer" and is the daily news about my friend's daughter's journey with cancer. It details her treatment and incredible perspective and spirit. It also tells us about the amazing people she is surrounded by and what a difference they are making to her. She has been writing for 30 days now and has already been viewed more than 4,000 times. I feel privileged to be included in her journey and humbled by the attention that she is getting and deserves.

It is the year's end and the beginning of the gratitude season. It is time to take stock of the many blessings and all the good fortune that we have had during this past year. It is time to make plans for the new year. 

My goal, my resolution is to give you all many good reasons to hit me, or at least visit my blog.

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What are you doing on Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I suppose that the food has a lot to do with it. I also love seeing so many of my family and friends that I could never see often enough. We also do a lot of reminiscing on Thanksgiving, or at least I do and have every intention of doing the same thing at this year's Thanksgiving.

A day to give thanks. Really? Really? Just one day? To me, giving thanks is something to be done daily, if not several times a day.  My good friend, let's call him Jim, has been in a program for many years. While in the program he had a sponsor and they spoke to each other almost daily. Every conversation started the same way. " What are you grateful for today, Jim?"  WOW!  That is powerful stuff. Imagine if we all took the time to think about what we are grateful for, or thankful for each and every day. Do you think it would make a difference in our world? I do.

At the risk of being redundant and repeating myself and being redundant, as I have said many times before, gratitude is the key to happiness. Gratitude is the same thing as being thankful. Being thankful is what we are called to do today. This has nothing to do with religion or faith. It has entirely to do with how we choose to live our lives and see the world.

I recently saw a video of a man speaking about "The Happiness Advantage". In it the speaker discusses how so many people believe that they will be happy " when…". His argument, and it is a good one too, is that people who are happy are more likely to be successful than those who postpone their happiness until something happens. (The video is long and he does not start speaking until 33 min. into it. I promise you it is worth waiting for.)  I say why wait? If gratitude leads to happiness, then Thanksgiving seems to be as good of a time as any to start being thankful. 

I am asking everyone to do one thing today. After the greetings and the hugs, maybe even before dinner and drinking, take a minute. Think about what and who you are thankful for. If you are gathered around the table, tell everyone what you are thankful for and ask them to do the same. Give this Thanksgiving its full meaning and purpose. Be thankful, and then be happy that you have so much to be thankful for.

For me and my family  Thanksgiving is a very special holiday that I have written about in the past. For one thing this holiday is definitely a big part of "My mother's legacy"and I suppose that has a lot to do with why "Today I feel thankful."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy the holiday……. and all of your leftovers.

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Jim Morrison taught me how to sing.

Jim Morrison, the artist, the poet, and legendary lead singer of The Doors taught me how to sing. I know this is a crazy notion. He died in 1971 and I did not learn how to sing until 1973. But, it's true.

I grew up in Whittier, California until I was 14 years old. Then we moved to Huntington Beach and as a sophomore in high school, I was the "new kid", a less than enviable position to hold. I missed my old friends and old surroundings. That longing made it harder to make new friends.  Without friends, I had a lot of time to myself and developed new habits, one of which was to come home, put on the headphones, turn on the stereo, and sing my heart out. In particular I loved to listen to the "Doors Live" album and would sing along, with my friend Jim, for hours at a time. The vocal range, the pitch, and tone all seemed perfect for me to sing along to and that is how I learned to sing. Practice. Practice. Practice.

You're probably asking, didn't you know how to sing before? Sure, anyone can sing, but not everyone can sing well, on pitch, on key, and with no flats or sharps.  My older brother seemed to have great musical skills. He could sing and play the guitar. Wow! At one holiday gathering we got up to sing together and I was nicely asked "why don't you let your brothers sing this one." I got the message. I did not have his natural singing ability. In fact I was just no good at it... until I met Jim.

Once I learned how to sing, my world changed. I got involved with the school choir, starred in the school musicals and had found a new way to meet people and make friends.  I also learned much more.

I learned, and wholeheartedly believe, that everyone can sing. People who say "I can't sing" usually don't. How are you going to learn anything if you don't do it? Perhaps you don't sing well, have perfect pitch or a voice like Madonna or Jim Morrison, but you never will ifyou never do it. That was an important lesson and has stayed with me

ever since.

Years later, as my kids approached their teenage years, both felt as I

did: that they could not sing. So I pressured, harassed, encouraged

and sang along with them and do you know what happened? They learned

how to sing, got involved with choir and were in the school musicals.

Our son, who had less confidence in his singing then his sister,

became so confident that when he went to college he started an a

cappella group. Both of our kids learned this lesson too.

Singing is also good for the soul. It is a form of expressing almost

every emotion. Joy, sorrow, excitement, loss, love and so much more.

"That is exactly how I feel" Is how we respond when someone has

already put the words and music together. Singing allows us to

verbalize, vocalize those feelings. Expressing those feelings can only

be good for the soul.

If more people sang, the world would be a happier place. We don't have

to join hands and sing Kumbaya (not that this is a bad idea) and we

don't have to sing today's Top 40. What we can do is sing, sing more, sing out loud and sing because it is good for you.

I like the sound of that. Don't you?

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