My Bucket List Just Got Shorter.

I have wanted to do it for years. I was going to do it for my 50th birthday and couldn’t because I weighed too much, so I waited. I lost weight (30 pounds) and for my 52nd birthday, I did it. I jumped out of an airplane and went SKYDIVING.

Like most first-time jumpers, I did a tandem jump. This means that I was tied to, strapped to and hooked to an experienced jumper. It also meant that I did not have to worry about opening my parachute. It was done for me.


There was nothing for me to worry about. When I was at the door of the plane readying to jump, there was no time to say “Wait, wait, wait!”, or even think about it. Before I knew it, my ‘travel partner’ and I were out of the plane and free-falling.

Free-falling. Now there is a term. Let me explain what freefalling is like.

Imagine a roller-coaster ride. The ride climbs to the top and then WHOOSH! You are dropping at about 75 to 85 miles per hour and the drop, rarely more than 100 feet, lasts for two to three seconds. Although you are safely strapped in and seated in a metal car, your hands are in the air as you scream with delight; perhaps the longest two or three seconds of your life.

Free-falling is different. Your airplane climbs to 12,500 feet and then you jump. A small chute opens quickly so that you are face down and slowed to 120 miles per hour. You ‘fall’ at that speed for just over a mile, about six thousand feet, and for about 30 seconds. (Want to know how long thirty seconds is? Count it out saying “One thousand and one, one thousand and two”, etc) Also, there is no metal car. Just your own personal cheerleader, riding on your back and encouraging you the whole way down.

Sensory Overload. My arms instinctively spread wide like a bird. The goggles protect your eyes, but my cheeks were flapping in the wind, while my heart raced and my mind went numb! Too much to absorb. Too much to take in all at once.

I looked down and was amazed at how high up in the air I was. As far as I was concerned, I could see for hundreds of miles. The thrill, the excitement and the adrenaline were like nothing I had ever experienced before. I quickly understood why so many make this there sport of choice.

Finally and suddenly the parachute opens. The next seven or eight minutes are spent coasting to earth…..albeit at a much faster speed than I had expected. Most of that time was spent regaining my composure, high-fiving my travel companion and trying to absorb everything I had just gone through.

Jumping with me were my son, Adam and my good friend Randy. It was Adam’s first time too. But it was Randy’s 359th jump and he goes solo. While the rest of us were outfitted with helmets and jumpsuits, Randy wore only a t-shirt and shorts. He jumped first and did about eleven summersaults before opening his parachute. What a guy. What kahunas!

There were other experienced jumpers on the plane, jumping in groups of three to five and doing aerial formations on the way down. What a sight. Poetry in motion…..very fast motion.

Of course, I had something that no one else on the plane had: a disability. I was prepared and the crew was ready for me. It turns out that this particular skydiving location accommodates people with disabilities regularly and they knew just what to do.

They wheeled me out to the plane and instantly lifted me onboard. Their skill, knowledge and confidence made me comfortable and secure. My only question was how would I land? They had an answer for that too.

My legs were strapped together around my knees and ankles. As we descended towards our landing, the ground crew was waiting for me. They were there to make sure that my legs stayed up, in front of me and did not fold underneath me. Smooth and gentle, just as I like it….and expected.

The whole experience was very different than I expected. Years ago I took a flight lesson in a small Cessna four passenger plane. The sense of flying I felt was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was as though I knew just how a bird felt as they soared across the sky.

Since then, I have wanted to try other flying activities like gliding and hang gliding. While I never did either of those, I have gone para-sailing and loved it. It too gave that sense of soaring through the air.

I did not have that feeling at all while skydiving. Even after the parachute opened, we were still moving too quickly to feel as though we were soaring through the air. I did not feel like a bird, but I sure did feel a whole lot else.

You may know or have already guessed that skydiving is not cheap. In fact it is expensive, about $200 per person for a tandem jump. But you can do it for FREE!

There is a new no-profit group called Skydive4free.com and they have affiliated with skydive locations all over the country. All you have to do is raise $500 for your favorite charity and you are good to go. Visit their web site at www.Skydive4free.com and get all the details.

Do good in the world. Raise some money and do the jump. Then cross another item off of your bucket list.

Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.

Denial: A Basic Survival Skill

A friend of mine who is a psychologist, told me that I am suffering from “Chronic Euphoria”. She says I am far too happy for my circumstances and teases me about being in denial. The truth is that she is right. I am in denial. In fact, it may be our most important survival skill.

We all live with varying degrees of denial. If we didn’t, we would never leave the house. Fatal car accidents occur every day. But not to me. Houses and buildings burn down every day. But not where I am. I live in Los Angeles and someday there will be a catastrophic earthquake. But it won’t hit my house. A certain amount of denial is required for us to be able to function in this modern world of ours. I consider this a ‘healthy level of denial’.

What is an unhealthy level of denial? Denying what already exists. My psychologist friend is worried that I may be in denial about how my disease/disability affects others around me. I don’t think so. In fact, I think I am particularly sensitive about how my disease affects others, especially my wife who is my primary caregiver. In many ways this disease (multiple sclerosis, for those who don’t know) is harder on her than it is on me. I am aware of that. No denial here.

Unhealthy denial may also occur when we deny that we have control or influence over circumstances in our lives. Or, at a minimum, controlling how we respond to those circumstances, events relationships, etc.

Healthy denial may be denying a possible adverse outcome. Denying a possible adverse outcome is also how many of us function every day. Car accidents, burning building and earthquakes occur almost daily, sometimes more often. If we really thought that these events would hurt or kill us, we would run and hide. We, or at least most of us, live our lives with an expectation that “bad things” won’t happen to us. While it is true that bad things happen all the time, we don’t expect them to happen to us.

I do know people that always expect the worst. To me, denying possible positive outcomes may be the UN-healthiest form of denial.

I live with a chronic disease and there is a great possibility that my condition may worsen. I know that and don’t deny it. But I live my life in anticipation of good things, accomplishing physical goals and expecting new treatments to improve my quality of life. To me, that is healthy denial and that is okay with me.

According to my psychologist friend, there is no such thing as “healthy denial.” Instead, she says that these are coping skills and being able to cope with the realities of life is good….and healthy. She is probably right.

Call it healthy denial, coping skills or whatever you like. Being able to accept reality is always healthy. There is no denying it.

Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.

Two Emotional

There is a theory, perhaps a philosophy, which says that there are only two emotions: Fear and Love. Everything else falls under one of those two emotions.

So why is this important? It is important because if we can recognize our negative or “fear driven” emotions, we might be able to do something about them. When we control our emotions, we control our lives. Of course we may not always have control over what happens in our lives, but we can control how we feel or respond to what happens.

Recognizing our emotions is relevant to every aspect of our lives. How we feel about our relationships, money, politics, health, work, prejudices, and more are all determined by whether we are coming from a place of love or fear.

Racism and prejudice are driven by fear. That a person looks different is the cause of that fear. Being different makes them ‘unknown’ and we are always, or at least often, afraid of that which we don’t know. Once we get to know someone who looks different, that fear and our prejudice goes away. Fear of the unknown is a most basic and primal fear. But we are humans and can reason and rationalize and overcome our fears….and our prejudices.

Using a wheelchair makes me different and I experience a kind of fear and prejudice when I go out in public. I often make it a point to be particularly friendly in order to help others overcome their fears. Once that is done, they can treat me with love and don’t we all deserve that?

Fear based emotions rarely do us or anyone any good. These include hate, prejudice, distrust, doubt, pessimism, disgust and more. Love based emotions would be just the opposite; love, acceptance, trust, confidence, optimism, respect, etc.

Being able to recognize our emotions and fears gives us the opportunity to examine our feelings and ask ourselves “What are we afraid of?” If we can do that, we might not only be able to change how we feel, we just might change the world.

Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.