Saturday, February 1, 2014

Gone, but certainly not forgotten. My “Internet friend”, Vicki

  If the Internet is so impersonal, then why do I care so much.

 I call her my friend. I never met her and only spoke to her on the phone a few times. But when her life partner e-mailed me to tell me that she had passed away, I realize that I cared about her more than I thought.

 Vicki was an extraordinary lady. She was a writer and made a great contribution to the MS community by writing scores of articles for MS Central ( and through her own blog. She also took the time to read other blogs and to comment on them. She certainly did make comments on my blog and I made a number of comments on her blogs and articles as well.

 The comments are great and through these comments, which became conversations, we established a relationship. What I remember most of all is her kindness. That is the one word that I keep thinking of when I think about her. As I think about it, what a great way to be remembered. I can only hope to be remembered the same way.

 When her partner called me I immediately shared a story with him that certainly applies to her. Below is that story.

 “My father told me a story several years ago. He had gone to a funeral and after the service approached the woman whose father had died. He said, "I am sorry for your loss". Her response was "I haven't lost anything. Everything that I ever got from him I still have. I just stopped gaining."

That is how I feel about losing my Internet friend. I can only hope that people will feel the same way about me when my time here is over.

 Goodbye Vicki. You are missed by me and I am certain that you will be missed by everyone who knew you. We have all “stopped gaining”.

Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.


  1. In this past year, in the MS blogosphere, we also lost Patrick Leer (Caregivingly Yours) and George Bokos (the Greek from Detroit). I never met either one in person. But, through the internet, they became dear friends. I find myself missing them as strongly as another close friend who also died last year and whom I've known for decades outside the internet . It is curious, this connection we make. All I know is that I treasure the connections I have made. My thoughts go out to you.

  2. Thank you for your reply. This event has made me realize that my “Internet friends” whom I have never met are more important to me than I had considered before. I think that it is the time for me to let them know that.

  3. How very thoughtful, Michael. Thank you for the tribute to Vicki. You were an inspiration to Vicki, and she greatly valued the relationship.

  4. Such a wonderful post, Michael. Vicki was an "Internet friend" to Dan and me, and she surely will be missed. Like Judy, I treasure the internet connections I have made and am thankful to you both for your friendship. MS is a crappy disease, but the online community it has brought together is one of its few bright spots!

  5. I'm sorry about the passing of your friends, but keep the spirit yes, there is currently no time parting meet the laws of nature ..

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