Saturday, December 14, 2013

It has been 10 years, but it seems like only yesterday.

 December 12 is an unusual anniversary date. An unusual anniversary because it was the 10th anniversary of the date that my mother passed away. In many ways it seems like it was only yesterday. And in 100 more ways it seems as though she is still here. She is still talked about and considered. “Mom would really like that person” or  “Mom would have loved that movie”. When I say that she was a big part of our lives, I do not mean just me. I also mean my wife, my children, my in-laws, my cousins and so many others who knew her and loved her.

 There are a lot of beliefs and theories about what happens to us after we are gone. But there is one form of “eternal life” that we can all agree on. The one way that we can live on after we are gone is to live in the hearts and minds of those who knew us best. That is certainly the case with my mother.

 Was she a little bit eccentric? Crazy? You bet and that is how and why she is so fondly remembered. We all have so many wonderful stories to tell about her. So many that it allows any negative thoughts to fade away and what we are left with are happy, joy filled memories. Who wouldn't want to be remembered that way? I don't think that while she was here with us she ever gave a thought to how she would be remembered. But her constant consideration of those that she loved and cared about most of all were certainly her hallmarks.

Maybe that is the answer. Perhaps if we want to be remembered by those who we love most of all, the best way to do that is by a constant consideration and caring for them. It certainly worked for her.

My father told me the story of having attended a funeral and afterwards he approached the woman whose father had died and said “I am sorry for your loss”. Her response was extraordinary. She said “I haven't lost anything. I have just stopped gaining.”

I can only hope to be remembered as fondly as my mother and in the same way this woman loved her father.

 ( After I wrote this I realize that I wrote a similar piece 2 years ago called “Lasagna in your trunk”. I hesitated to publish this and then thought that if I feel the same way, then I should publish it anyway. I hope that you agree.)

Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that matters.

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