One day, I was working with an acupuncturist and
she was burning incense on the palm of my hand. She told me to let her know
when it gets too hot and she would remove it, but to try and keep it there for
as long as I could. Well, I kept it there as long as I could letting the
incense burn all the way through to the skin. She asked why I waited so long?
She had said to keep it there for as long as I could and that's what I did! I
kept it there much longer than a normal human being would have done. Why? Because
I have a high tolerance for pain.
There are different kinds of pains that I get
from living with MS, and some are worse than others. They can range from aches
to extreme itching to deep nerve pain. I know that I can count on experiencing
at least a couple of them every day. I also know that when I'm feeling pain,
that it will go away. For me, I think that knowing it will go away is a big
part of tolerating pain.
Don't get me wrong. I feel the pain. I grit my
teeth's and sometimes writhe in pain. Occasionally I will let out a few
expletives. So it is not that I do not feel "the nail going through my
foot”. I do. I am just able to tolerate it. Again, knowing that it will go away
is a big part of how I tolerate pain.
Pain can be more than physical. There also
emotional pains. Pains that one experiences when they or someone close to
them are diagnosed with an illness. Pains that are felt when a family member or
friend or someone important to them passes away. I seem to have a high
tolerance for these pains too. The questions are how and why.
The answer for emotional pain is partially the
same as it is for physical pain. I know that it will go away. “Time heals all
wounds”. The cliché is always true, but there are other ways that I deal with
the emotional pain. What seems to work best for me is gratitude and
perspective.
I was very close with my mother. She was an
extraordinarily active and vital woman who spent her life taking care of other
people. She took care of her mother, her husband, and did everything she could
to take care of our family too. But it did not stop with family. Whenever she
saw or met someone that she thought she could help, she did. She also died at
the age of 68.
Dozens of people responded to her death by saying
“she was so young”. My response was that 68 is not young. It is just not a
particularly long life. In fact, we were lucky to have had her for as long as
we did.
She was not young. It is just that her life was
not long enough. Her life wouldn't have been long enough even if she lived to
be 120 years old. For me, the best way to accept her passing was to be grateful
for all the years that I had with her.
The best way to deal with pain, be it physical or
emotional, is gratitude. Grateful in knowing that the physical pain will go
away. Grateful in knowing person for as long as I did.
Participate. Make a difference. Live a life that
matters.
